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(gentle music)

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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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- Okay.

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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Er, right.

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I'm from Essex, like London.

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I'm Ronnie, from London Town.

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London Town?

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Ronnie. Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie.

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Yeah, I'm Ronnie.

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I was more like where the white was going, you know?

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All right. (clears throat)

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All right, I'm Ronnie.

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Okay, so this is my Ronnie O'Sullivan impression.

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"Hi kids, it's me, Ronnie.

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"Which Ronnie?

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"There's only one Ronnie, Ronnie O'Sullivan.

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"And today we are gonna pot, the white?

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"No, no, we don't pot no whites around here.

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"We only pot colors.

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"Let's do this.

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"So you're gonna follow me all around the table

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"and we're gonna pot all the colors of the rainbow.

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"Yes. Yes we are.

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"'Cause who am I? I'm Rocket Ronnie.

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(gentle music continues)

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"Let's play some snooker!"

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- [Narrator] Working for the UK's

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lowest-rated lookalike agency.

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Johnny "Snooker Man" Bonnar takes center stage,

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navigating the agency's eccentricities

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before delving into the world

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of competitive miniature snooker.

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This is his story.

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- Then when it comes to the adults' one, I, er,

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well, I would be a bit more like less, "Hi kids."

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And I'd be a bit more like

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hanging out, talking to them.

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"Oh, let's have a beer, let's kick back.

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"Let's talk about the old greats."

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I'll sort of say about my time,

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you know, my friendship with Jimmy, Old Jimmy White.

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And yeah,

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normally we've had a few crazy times,

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you know, so,

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but nonetheless, right back onto what else I would.

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(knocking on door) Yeah?

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- [Flatmate] Johnny, you shut the fuck up.

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You're putting me off my shit.

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(mysterious music)

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♪ Let me introduce you to a man ♪

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♪ You've probably heard his name ♪

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♪ World champion, the very best ♪

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♪ His opponent should be scared ♪

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♪ The ladies want him, ♪

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♪ The gentlemen want to be him ♪

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♪ He's a Snooker Man, the game has begun ♪

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♪ One winner and it will be him ♪

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♪ He's the Snooker Man and nobody can ♪

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♪ Destroy the empire he's built ♪

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♪ The Snooker Man ♪

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♪ The Snooker Man ♪

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♪ The Snooker Man ♪

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♪ The Snooker Man ♪

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♪ Great player and a greater lover ♪

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♪ There is nothin' he does wrong ♪

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♪ He does it all like no other ♪

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♪ He's takin' over the world ♪

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♪ The ladies want him ♪

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♪ The gentlemen want to be him ♪

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♪ He's a Snooker Man ♪

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♪ The game has begun ♪

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♪ One winner and it will be him ♪

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♪ He's the Snooker Man and nobody can ♪

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♪ Destroy the empire he's built ♪

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♪ The Snooker Man ♪

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♪ The Snooker Man ♪

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♪ The Snooker Man ♪

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♪ The Snooker Man ♪

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♪ You won't see his next move comin' ♪

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♪ In the second only a black ball left ♪

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♪ And all of his lovers keep comin' ♪

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♪ 'Cause his name they can't forget ♪

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♪ He's a Snooker Man, the game has begun ♪

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♪ One winner and it will be him ♪

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♪ He's the Snooker Man and nobody can ♪

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♪ Destroy the empire he's built ♪

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♪ The Snooker Man ♪

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♪ The Snooker Man ♪

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♪ The Snooker Man ♪

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♪ The Snooker Man ♪

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(laid back music)

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(Johnny brushes teeth)

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- Yeah, I mean, some nights, yeah.

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Fucking hell, I mean, I finished work

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and I just wanna,

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the thing I want to do is just kick back

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and it's like, oh yeah, gotta go down there.

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A cold shower.

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I got into acting 10 years ago.

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Done a drama degree

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and yeah, it's like two years, intensive.

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And that was going well

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and picked up lots of different bits and pieces,

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like some touring theater around Italy.

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And yeah, a couple of theater shows, like a few,

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like half a dozen in like small venues around London.

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And it was actually at one of them that I met Barry.

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He, he just came along to one.

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And we got talking.

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Barry Keane, who runs the Prestige Lookalikes

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and we actually hit it off.

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- [Narrator] Barry Keane initially refused

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to take part in this documentary

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as he objects to Prestige
Lookalikes being featured

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as the UK's worst lookalike agency.

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He sent a lookalike of himself to take part instead.

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- I'm the lead actor, director

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and writer of the best British
horror films since Hammer

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and founder of Prestige Lookalikes.

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Barry Keane, obviously.

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- We, we got talking about films, got very,

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we're both very passionate about, about movies.

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And, and then he, he also was telling me

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that he has all these ideas

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and a few of them were for, for horror films.

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So naturally I thought, great,
you know, let's collaborate.

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Let's, let's get some, get some films made.

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And yeah, we, we did, we've made a few films now.

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- "The Girl With The Two Masks" was my directional debut.

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I like to think of it as my love letter

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to the giallo films of Dario Argento.

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But better, if I do say so myself.

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- You nothing to say for yourself? (coughs)

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(tense music)

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- Stop being a victim and see a therapist!

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- [Barry] Okay. Goodnight.

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- Well, I wake up with glass taped to my mouth so you know,

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if I move my mouth

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or do anything, basically it will cut,

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I cut my mouth up, nice.

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(actor pants)

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But then also I get attacked.

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So it's like a needle in my arm.

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And I basically got to, I'm forced to spray a picture,

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like a portrait from my own blood.

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(Johnny whimpers)

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(actor screams)

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(tense music)

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I was about to show it to my mum and

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she said, "Johnny, you know, it's Christmas Day.

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"Let's, let's maybe do it Boxing Day.

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"It's a horror."

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I said, "all right then".

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And then, yeah, it was awkward.

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I was watching it with her and my dad

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and they were just like, what the hell is this?

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- I think for me, why me dad does these films,

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it's because A, he's a bit of a cheapskate

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and blood's pretty cheap, isn't it?

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You can use bucket loads
and it looks really good on film

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and it's just cheap to make, but it always sells.

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I mean, when I was little, when I was about four or five,

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we'd always watch like Hammer House of Horrors.

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You imagine being a kid in that household

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and you sort to go to bed
watching like mutilations, death,

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blood and gore,

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screaming out in the middle of your night

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and your dad's saying, "Don't worry about that".

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"It's about the haunting you've gotta worry about."

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Which, I think,

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that's exactly where he got "Two Masks" from.

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He sort of watches all this stuff.

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And he sort of rips it off.

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- "To kill a princess"

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stars my lovely daughter Margaret

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and my current employee, Johnny,

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in a fantasy steampunk world.

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Maggie is the princess.

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She has to be killed.

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Johnny has to kill her.

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But they fall in love.

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A retro futuristic Shakespearean tragedy,

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if you wish.

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What is this bollocks?

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Watch out for my cameo as a steam-powered terminator.

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(Barry coughs and screams)

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(Barry gurgles)

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- [Barry] Run, or you're dead!

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(Barry splutters)

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(bird sings)

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- Do you know, in "To Kill A Princess",

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I quite like that 'cause I come across

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as this real sort of kick-arse strong woman.

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I don't know if it's like, ultimate feminist.

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(whimsical music)

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Who was that?

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You may be a little whore.

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A little tall whore

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that my father happened to sleep with.

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My sister would never be assigned a whore!

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- Essentially my character
is out to, to kill the princess.

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(wistful music)

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It was a terrible shame

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you slipped away at such an early hour

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at your father's gala.

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You have quite an effect on me.

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- And I was working with Johnny Bonnar

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and it's like this little love affair.

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And we'd meet up at the palace

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and we had some scenes that
was like sort of a masked ball.

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It's quite sexy, but yeah.

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And then he got killed.

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(tense music) (Johnny pants)

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- You're about to die.

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Do you have any last requests?

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- Yeah. I'm thirsty.

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- Oh sure. You're very thirsty.

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Maybe you would like that brandy after all.

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(Johnny gasps) Come on, come on.

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(tense music)

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(Johnny spits) (Maggie screams)

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Help!

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Rose!

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(gasps) Rose!

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(pistol fires)

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Every film we do, he just ends up dead.

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Some really gruesome, horrible death.

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You just know he is never gonna be in the sequel.

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- [Johnny] It's, it's Christmas day

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and I'm actually with Maggie, like,

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our characters are together.

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He's playing my dad.

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- And this whole scene just goes all a bit tits up.

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(smoke alarm beeps)

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(downbeat music)

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(meat squelches)

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Just a small bit for me. Thanks.

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- Oh, come on love, have a big bit.

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It's Christmas!

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- It's already awkward.

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And yeah, like Maggie's character saying like,

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"Oh, why didn't you tell your dad about me?"

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But I'm, I'm just kind of, there's a reason why.

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- We can tell her, John!

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- Sit!

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Don't look at me like that.

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- Tell me what?

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- He's trying to contain it.

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He's trying to like, you know, not,

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trying to hold it down and,

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but he can't.

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- Let's do a countdown. Ready?

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Three,

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two.

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00:13:02,065 --> 00:13:05,874
(Barry makes yelping noise)

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(tense music)

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- Shit!

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(Barry yelps and barks)

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- What's happening?

261
00:13:21,665 --> 00:13:22,954
- I'm sorry, babe.

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00:13:22,955 --> 00:13:27,874
Yeah, he turns into his, into the Chihuahua Man.

263
00:13:27,875 --> 00:13:30,075
Which is like half chihuahua, half werewolf.

264
00:13:32,051 --> 00:13:34,551
(Barry pants)

265
00:13:35,589 --> 00:13:37,137
(Barry barks)

266
00:13:37,138 --> 00:13:39,068
(eyes squelch)

267
00:13:39,069 --> 00:13:41,569
(tense music)

268
00:13:44,860 --> 00:13:46,234
(Barry yelps)

269
00:13:46,235 --> 00:13:47,725
- [Barry] Skip straight to pudding!

270
00:13:47,726 --> 00:13:50,253
(Barry devours food)

271
00:13:50,254 --> 00:13:51,086
(Barry barks)

272
00:13:51,087 --> 00:13:53,494
- Didn't we tell you not to stop taking your medication?

273
00:13:53,495 --> 00:13:55,438
Stay! (Barry barks)

274
00:13:55,439 --> 00:13:57,022
Listen, stay, stay.

275
00:13:57,888 --> 00:13:58,720
Dad, Dad!

276
00:13:58,721 --> 00:14:00,878
Look, Dad, get the fuck off me!

277
00:14:01,968 --> 00:14:03,521
Seriously, Dad.

278
00:14:03,522 --> 00:14:05,224
- And I just don't tell me mates about this film

279
00:14:05,225 --> 00:14:06,641
because who wants to say,

280
00:14:06,642 --> 00:14:09,604
"My dad did this film where we got to dry hump"?

281
00:14:09,605 --> 00:14:12,274
You know, I mean, me guy,

282
00:14:12,275 --> 00:14:16,114
what, me, you know, Johnny, like,

283
00:14:16,115 --> 00:14:17,434
you know, it's a bit weird, isn't it?

284
00:14:17,435 --> 00:14:18,574
'Cause I mean...

285
00:14:18,575 --> 00:14:20,014
- [Johnny] Get off me!

286
00:14:20,015 --> 00:14:21,544
- So she gets all this burnt chicken

287
00:14:21,545 --> 00:14:23,704
that's been all messed up anyway

288
00:14:23,705 --> 00:14:26,215
and sort of entice, like, (whistles)

289
00:14:26,216 --> 00:14:29,194
throw this chicken down, this burnt chicken,

290
00:14:29,195 --> 00:14:30,334
and suddenly my dad goes off

291
00:14:30,335 --> 00:14:31,834
and he's, he's eating this burnt chicken.

292
00:14:31,835 --> 00:14:34,658
I don't even know what these films are about.

293
00:14:36,163 --> 00:14:37,222
(meat squelches)

294
00:14:37,223 --> 00:14:39,723
(tense music)

295
00:14:48,052 --> 00:14:49,739
(Barry yelps)

296
00:14:49,740 --> 00:14:50,572
(laid back music)

297
00:14:50,573 --> 00:14:53,374
I think my dad thinks he's a bit like sort of Tim Burton

298
00:14:53,375 --> 00:14:55,534
where he's got his, sort of, his Johnny Depp

299
00:14:55,535 --> 00:14:58,714
and his, you know, his Helena Bonham Carter,

300
00:14:58,715 --> 00:15:00,514
which is obviously me,

301
00:15:00,515 --> 00:15:03,184
and obviously Johnny's, Johnny Depp.

302
00:15:03,185 --> 00:15:05,854
But honestly it's just 'cause he's cheap if I'm honest.

303
00:15:05,855 --> 00:15:07,114
He just don't wanna pay anyone.

304
00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:10,924
I mean, poor Johnny gets paid nothing really,

305
00:15:10,925 --> 00:15:12,934
just does 'em for free on this promise

306
00:15:12,935 --> 00:15:15,308
that he's gonna be this massive horror actor.

307
00:15:16,265 --> 00:15:17,344
I'm not sure it's gonna happen

308
00:15:17,345 --> 00:15:18,784
'cause he just dies and him done.

309
00:15:18,785 --> 00:15:21,999
He, he's a bit ridiculed, poor guy.

310
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,743
And I mean me,

311
00:15:23,744 --> 00:15:26,221
I don't know how any more I'm gonna do to be honest.

312
00:15:26,222 --> 00:15:27,567
- I mean I'm all for a bit of fun, you know,

313
00:15:27,568 --> 00:15:30,932
getting a bit creative and all that, you know,

314
00:15:30,933 --> 00:15:33,098
getting outta my comfort zone.

315
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:36,214
But like, you know, a couple
of the ideas he's thrown at me,

316
00:15:36,215 --> 00:15:37,575
I've actually had to say no

317
00:15:38,435 --> 00:15:41,614
because they're just too, too bizarre.

318
00:15:41,615 --> 00:15:46,615
- I started the Prestige Lookalikes Agency in 2018,

319
00:15:46,655 --> 00:15:51,548
hiring the very best lookalikes the UK has to offer.

320
00:15:52,947 --> 00:15:54,215
(laid back music) - The name's Bond

321
00:15:55,385 --> 00:15:56,318
James.

322
00:15:58,325 --> 00:15:59,974
Bond, James Bond.

323
00:15:59,975 --> 00:16:00,844
No, I'm, I'm only joking.

324
00:16:00,845 --> 00:16:03,184
My name's actually er, my name's actually Pete.

325
00:16:03,185 --> 00:16:06,364
Yeah, I'm a, I'm a professional James Bond impersonator,

326
00:16:06,365 --> 00:16:09,038
er, Daniel Craig impersonator.

327
00:16:10,625 --> 00:16:13,114
Yeah, so I'm here today putting the final touches

328
00:16:13,115 --> 00:16:14,674
to my, to my one man show

329
00:16:14,675 --> 00:16:17,794
that I've been developing
over the last couple of years.

330
00:16:17,795 --> 00:16:19,894
It's called "10 Hours to Die".

331
00:16:19,895 --> 00:16:20,734
It's 10 hours long.

332
00:16:20,735 --> 00:16:24,634
'cause you know, we're in the binge, binge age.

333
00:16:24,635 --> 00:16:26,044
You know, people love binging

334
00:16:26,045 --> 00:16:29,314
and that's what we're, we're bringing that to the stage

335
00:16:29,315 --> 00:16:31,504
rather than like home TV, you know.

336
00:16:31,505 --> 00:16:35,464
So it's me, on me Todd, reenacting every scene,

337
00:16:35,465 --> 00:16:37,684
every action, every song from every one

338
00:16:37,685 --> 00:16:40,820
of Daniel Craig's five Bond films.

339
00:16:40,821 --> 00:16:43,264
(Peter makes shooting noise)

340
00:16:43,265 --> 00:16:45,394
Yeah, it's never been done before as far as we know.

341
00:16:45,395 --> 00:16:48,304
And it'll probably probably never be done again.

342
00:16:48,305 --> 00:16:49,384
It's hard. It's hard.

343
00:16:49,385 --> 00:16:51,844
But once you get into it and you're channeling

344
00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:53,884
that Daniel Craig energy,

345
00:16:53,885 --> 00:16:55,624
it's like otherworldly

346
00:16:55,625 --> 00:16:58,504
and you feel like he's watching over ya

347
00:16:58,505 --> 00:17:00,454
and guiding you through it.

348
00:17:00,455 --> 00:17:02,224
So yeah, it's not too bad.

349
00:17:02,225 --> 00:17:03,124
I'm fit.

350
00:17:03,125 --> 00:17:06,124
I go to the gym, work out as well, like he did,

351
00:17:06,125 --> 00:17:07,474
eight days a week, he said.

352
00:17:07,475 --> 00:17:09,184
I'm nine days a week.

353
00:17:09,185 --> 00:17:10,635
Taken good care of your body.

354
00:17:13,122 --> 00:17:14,749
(Pete stifles a scream)

355
00:17:14,750 --> 00:17:19,107
No, to the right, to the right, to the right, to the right!

356
00:17:19,108 --> 00:17:22,128
You are a funny man, Mr Bond.

357
00:17:22,129 --> 00:17:23,854
(Peter hits chair and screams)

358
00:17:23,855 --> 00:17:26,389
Yes, yes, yes!

359
00:17:26,390 --> 00:17:27,222
You know, I've studied him.

360
00:17:27,223 --> 00:17:29,974
I know he's worked so hard on them films

361
00:17:29,975 --> 00:17:32,854
and, like he broke his leg making one of them.

362
00:17:32,855 --> 00:17:36,124
He's had so many injuries
'cause he did all his own stunts

363
00:17:36,125 --> 00:17:39,424
and I think the least I can do
is push through for 10 hours.

364
00:17:39,425 --> 00:17:41,854
In the context of the time he put into all them films,

365
00:17:41,855 --> 00:17:43,208
10 hours is nothing.

366
00:17:43,209 --> 00:17:45,595
♪ Skyfall, let the sky fall ♪

367
00:17:45,596 --> 00:17:50,596
♪ When it crumble, when it crumbles, we can stand tall ♪

368
00:17:51,995 --> 00:17:54,154
- Yeah, I think it's gonna be all right.

369
00:17:54,155 --> 00:17:55,444
And we've got breaks, you know,

370
00:17:55,445 --> 00:17:57,771
after each film we have an
interval, there's four intervals.

371
00:17:57,772 --> 00:18:00,004
'Cause people are gonna need 'em to refresh,

372
00:18:00,005 --> 00:18:01,894
go toilet, that kind of thing.

373
00:18:01,895 --> 00:18:03,364
I'll need to go toilet.

374
00:18:03,365 --> 00:18:05,674
Can't go 10 hours without going toilet.

375
00:18:05,675 --> 00:18:06,508
Q?

376
00:18:07,355 --> 00:18:09,004
Q, are you there?

377
00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:11,314
What? Are they safe, Q?

378
00:18:11,315 --> 00:18:12,814
Yes, they're safe.

379
00:18:12,815 --> 00:18:14,403
Er, Bond, have you left the island?

380
00:18:14,404 --> 00:18:16,922
(laid back music)

381
00:18:16,923 --> 00:18:19,024
(grunts) There's a slight problem with the blast doors.

382
00:18:19,025 --> 00:18:20,494
No, no, no, Bond.

383
00:18:20,495 --> 00:18:22,114
The missiles have already launched.

384
00:18:22,115 --> 00:18:23,824
Just get out of there.

385
00:18:23,825 --> 00:18:25,924
Well, that's not gonna work.

386
00:18:25,925 --> 00:18:26,858
Oh God, oh God.

387
00:18:27,935 --> 00:18:28,935
It's all, all right.

388
00:18:30,377 --> 00:18:31,999
Can you put Madeline on please?

389
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,917
We just need more time.

390
00:18:35,075 --> 00:18:36,848
We have all the time in the world.

391
00:18:38,608 --> 00:18:40,557
(laid back music)

392
00:18:40,558 --> 00:18:43,997
I love you.

393
00:18:43,998 --> 00:18:45,368
I love you too.

394
00:18:46,907 --> 00:18:48,907
She does have your eyes.

395
00:18:51,096 --> 00:18:51,929
I know.

396
00:18:53,397 --> 00:18:56,230
(laid back music)

397
00:19:03,947 --> 00:19:07,864
(Peter makes explosive noises)

398
00:19:23,342 --> 00:19:25,821
You just gotta look at the other Bonds,

399
00:19:25,822 --> 00:19:27,604
people who played Bonds before,

400
00:19:27,605 --> 00:19:29,644
and they're still very present in our minds.

401
00:19:29,645 --> 00:19:31,054
And I think Daniel Craig is,

402
00:19:31,055 --> 00:19:33,454
is gonna be present in our minds

403
00:19:33,455 --> 00:19:34,894
for years and decades to come.

404
00:19:34,895 --> 00:19:37,804
So I think, and he's still working, you know,

405
00:19:37,805 --> 00:19:40,744
and I think the more work he does, the more films,

406
00:19:40,745 --> 00:19:44,374
more doors will open for me as an impersonator.

407
00:19:44,375 --> 00:19:45,527
- Do you know, my poor dad,

408
00:19:45,528 --> 00:19:48,604
I remember once he'd been on this date with this woman

409
00:19:48,605 --> 00:19:49,437
and she dumped him

410
00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:51,814
'cause she said he looked like Toby Jones.

411
00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:53,014
He took it really to heart.

412
00:19:53,015 --> 00:19:53,847
And then he kind of went,

413
00:19:53,848 --> 00:19:56,651
"Screw her, I'm actually gonna make money off this.

414
00:19:56,652 --> 00:19:59,291
"I'm gonna actually start my own lookalike agency,

415
00:19:59,292 --> 00:20:02,914
"be Toby Jones and then see what she thinks then."

416
00:20:02,915 --> 00:20:05,798
- There's more money in it to than acting.

417
00:20:06,665 --> 00:20:10,834
No matter how many roles were being offered to me.

418
00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:11,944
None.

419
00:20:11,945 --> 00:20:13,114
- Oh, Barry, Barry, Barry, Barry.

420
00:20:13,115 --> 00:20:15,668
Don't, don't talk to me about Barry, huh.

421
00:20:17,252 --> 00:20:19,084
(Peter laughs)

422
00:20:19,085 --> 00:20:22,024
Yeah, I worked for Barry for about 18 months,

423
00:20:22,025 --> 00:20:26,224
during which time he got me no work.

424
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:30,113
He seemed a lot more interested
in pimping himself out as a,

425
00:20:30,114 --> 00:20:31,894
as a Toby Jones impersonator.

426
00:20:31,895 --> 00:20:34,294
But there ain't much of a
market for Toby Jones lookalikes

427
00:20:34,295 --> 00:20:36,004
when you can have Daniel Craig.

428
00:20:36,005 --> 00:20:38,298
So yeah, I,

429
00:20:39,875 --> 00:20:41,434
I ended up getting my own work in the end.

430
00:20:41,435 --> 00:20:43,444
So it's been all right, to be honest.

431
00:20:43,445 --> 00:20:44,914
But no thanks to Barry.

432
00:20:44,915 --> 00:20:47,764
- I've had different people come and go,

433
00:20:47,765 --> 00:20:52,402
but we've optimized it to just
me and Johnny at the moment.

434
00:20:54,965 --> 00:20:55,864
How's that?

435
00:20:55,865 --> 00:20:57,424
- Yeah, over the years I've had a,

436
00:20:57,425 --> 00:20:58,871
I've had a few people say to me,

437
00:20:58,872 --> 00:21:01,444
"You know what, have you seen "Evil Dead"?"

438
00:21:01,445 --> 00:21:04,144
I'm like, yeah, I know you're gonna say, yeah,

439
00:21:04,145 --> 00:21:05,314
I look like Bruce Campbell.

440
00:21:05,315 --> 00:21:07,504
I've got a kind of Bruce Campbell look to me

441
00:21:07,505 --> 00:21:10,387
and I kind of like that, you know,

442
00:21:10,388 --> 00:21:12,304
if anyone, Bruce Campbell.

443
00:21:12,305 --> 00:21:15,394
Yeah, he's, I mean, "Evil Dead" character, Ash.

444
00:21:15,395 --> 00:21:17,884
So it's wicked great, really cool character.

445
00:21:17,885 --> 00:21:21,664
So yeah, we go to game conventions

446
00:21:21,665 --> 00:21:24,601
and comic conventions and movie conventions.

447
00:21:24,602 --> 00:21:26,794
There's lots going on, you know, in London

448
00:21:26,795 --> 00:21:30,457
and yeah, yeah, there was a bit of noise with that.

449
00:21:30,458 --> 00:21:31,684
That was quite fun actually.

450
00:21:31,685 --> 00:21:35,974
Okay, so looking like Ronnie O'Sullivan, personally,

451
00:21:35,975 --> 00:21:38,614
I definitely don't think I'm the spitting image

452
00:21:38,615 --> 00:21:39,964
by any means.

453
00:21:39,965 --> 00:21:44,164
And you know, his physique's
not the same really, you know,

454
00:21:44,165 --> 00:21:45,844
nonetheless, there is definitely,

455
00:21:45,845 --> 00:21:49,324
I can see a bit of me in him and vice versa.

456
00:21:49,325 --> 00:21:53,854
- You can visit the Prestige website to hire Johnny

457
00:21:53,855 --> 00:21:58,414
for parties, corporate events, hen dos

458
00:21:58,415 --> 00:22:02,944
and grand openings, anything you want.

459
00:22:02,945 --> 00:22:07,945
He's the UK's 17th rated Ronnie O'Sullivan lookalike.

460
00:22:08,465 --> 00:22:12,844
But we've had to refer to him as Snooker Man

461
00:22:12,845 --> 00:22:14,648
for legal reasons.

462
00:22:15,605 --> 00:22:17,048
They sent a letter.

463
00:22:17,885 --> 00:22:20,014
He's only the 17th best.

464
00:22:20,015 --> 00:22:23,074
But to my knowledge, I'm the number one

465
00:22:23,075 --> 00:22:26,344
Toby Jones lookalike in the world.

466
00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:27,818
And fucking only!

467
00:22:29,031 --> 00:22:29,863
(casual music)

468
00:22:29,864 --> 00:22:31,204
I can't do this anymore. (sighs)

469
00:22:31,205 --> 00:22:32,914
This is utter bollocks.

470
00:22:32,915 --> 00:22:35,224
He's my landlord, I owe him rent.

471
00:22:35,225 --> 00:22:36,977
That's the only reason why I'm doing this.

472
00:22:36,978 --> 00:22:40,864
I work for him for a week and I regretted that.

473
00:22:40,865 --> 00:22:42,724
Look, what do you wanna know about him?

474
00:22:42,725 --> 00:22:44,374
I'll tell you anything.

475
00:22:44,375 --> 00:22:46,624
- Things do come in for Ronnie,

476
00:22:46,625 --> 00:22:48,604
and I'm out there doing the work.

477
00:22:48,605 --> 00:22:50,614
I'm doing some random, oh,

478
00:22:50,615 --> 00:22:53,798
some of the things, it's unbelievable.

479
00:22:55,295 --> 00:22:57,424
Some of the things that I end up having to do.

480
00:22:57,425 --> 00:22:59,134
And he, he rakes in the payday.

481
00:22:59,135 --> 00:23:01,204
Like I get a, I get a cut,

482
00:23:01,205 --> 00:23:03,934
but really for what I'm doing, I should get a lot more.

483
00:23:03,935 --> 00:23:05,838
- I'm a professional at, at what I do.

484
00:23:06,772 --> 00:23:09,904
And he just, he just didn't get me any work.

485
00:23:09,905 --> 00:23:13,114
He promised me the earth and he just didn't deliver.

486
00:23:13,115 --> 00:23:16,234
- There's, there's like pub nights, that's quite a big one.

487
00:23:16,235 --> 00:23:18,754
Yeah, they, they normally love to have, like,

488
00:23:18,755 --> 00:23:21,574
even if it's a darts competition,

489
00:23:21,575 --> 00:23:24,131
they, they like to have a sort of welcome on,

490
00:23:24,132 --> 00:23:26,528
"Hey, and here's Ronnie O Sullivan, you know,

491
00:23:27,612 --> 00:23:30,004
"to do some, some trick shots."

492
00:23:30,005 --> 00:23:32,255
And people do double take sometimes for that.

493
00:23:33,245 --> 00:23:37,984
So yeah, I was booked out by
this, this, this woman who was,

494
00:23:37,985 --> 00:23:41,014
it was a hen party, I thought, oh, interesting.

495
00:23:41,015 --> 00:23:46,015
And so I rock up to do some trick shots.

496
00:23:46,117 --> 00:23:47,524
I got my cue and everything,

497
00:23:47,525 --> 00:23:50,884
and I go to rack up the table

498
00:23:50,885 --> 00:23:54,334
and they're already kind of half gone.

499
00:23:54,335 --> 00:23:55,504
They're all like, really merry.

500
00:23:55,505 --> 00:23:57,461
And they're like, "Well, come on then!

501
00:23:57,462 --> 00:24:01,024
"You know, you still got your bow tie on!"

502
00:24:01,025 --> 00:24:03,334
And I just, oh, I thought, well, yeah,

503
00:24:03,335 --> 00:24:05,254
gonna do some shots.

504
00:24:05,255 --> 00:24:07,633
And they're like, you know,
and then one of them actually

505
00:24:07,634 --> 00:24:11,404
the, she actually threw a johnny at me,

506
00:24:11,405 --> 00:24:15,634
like it landed in my face like a, a condom in its packet.

507
00:24:15,635 --> 00:24:16,834
Barry knew about this.

508
00:24:16,835 --> 00:24:21,367
Barry knew that that was, that was, one, a hen party.

509
00:24:21,368 --> 00:24:23,914
And, and, and also that they,

510
00:24:23,915 --> 00:24:25,148
they wanted me to strip,

511
00:24:26,045 --> 00:24:27,214
but I didn't know that.

512
00:24:27,215 --> 00:24:29,524
Yeah, yeah. He, he, he didn't tell me.

513
00:24:29,525 --> 00:24:30,874
And he's done a few things like that.

514
00:24:30,875 --> 00:24:31,714
But that was the worst.

515
00:24:31,715 --> 00:24:34,084
And I was, no, I was not happy at all.

516
00:24:34,085 --> 00:24:36,714
No, I, I stormed outta that place.

517
00:24:36,715 --> 00:24:38,404
I, I said, well, I've gotta go.

518
00:24:38,405 --> 00:24:40,654
I'm, there's no way I'm, you know,

519
00:24:40,655 --> 00:24:42,094
fuming, fuming.

520
00:24:42,095 --> 00:24:44,134
And I, I just gave him a text

521
00:24:44,135 --> 00:24:46,564
and said, "Oh, where, where, where are you at, Baz"?

522
00:24:46,565 --> 00:24:48,280
And he said, "Oh, I'm in the pub".

523
00:24:48,281 --> 00:24:49,590
(Johnny opens door)

524
00:24:49,591 --> 00:24:52,654
I went into the pub and as soon as I saw him, I didn't care.

525
00:24:52,655 --> 00:24:53,487
I didn't care.

526
00:24:53,488 --> 00:24:54,951
I, I just picked up the pint

527
00:24:54,952 --> 00:24:56,464
and I threw it in his face.

528
00:24:56,465 --> 00:24:57,934
I wanna be an actor.

529
00:24:57,935 --> 00:25:00,094
I'm doing this for a bit of money,

530
00:25:00,095 --> 00:25:00,927
you know,

531
00:25:00,928 --> 00:25:04,474
we are supposed to have a partnership here

532
00:25:04,475 --> 00:25:05,824
and, you know, that's just taken it

533
00:25:05,825 --> 00:25:08,310
way, way too far, you know?

534
00:25:08,311 --> 00:25:10,858
I can't do this forever, put it that way.

535
00:25:10,859 --> 00:25:14,824
And, you know, I've got a reputation.

536
00:25:14,825 --> 00:25:18,735
So, you know, when I hear about the agency

537
00:25:19,865 --> 00:25:23,614
being like, regarded as the
worst in the country, you know,

538
00:25:23,615 --> 00:25:26,134
that kind of, that still backfires on me.

539
00:25:26,135 --> 00:25:28,114
- And it's the lowest rated.

540
00:25:28,115 --> 00:25:31,114
If you look it up, it's right down there.

541
00:25:31,115 --> 00:25:34,047
So it's just, it's just a bit poor, isn't there?

542
00:25:34,048 --> 00:25:37,451
- I have, I've had auditions where people say,

543
00:25:37,452 --> 00:25:39,345
"Oh, aren't you that Ronnie lookalike

544
00:25:40,182 --> 00:25:42,272
"for that really bad agency?"

545
00:25:43,415 --> 00:25:47,012
And it is like, well, "Okay, yeah, yeah, I am, yeah".

546
00:25:47,945 --> 00:25:49,654
And then most of the, well,

547
00:25:49,655 --> 00:25:51,514
they don't wanna see me again, really.

548
00:25:51,515 --> 00:25:54,064
Which is a shame.

549
00:25:54,065 --> 00:25:55,414
- Johnny's a nice lad.

550
00:25:55,415 --> 00:25:58,354
I wouldn't pay to see him as
a Ronnie O'Sullivan lookalike.

551
00:25:58,355 --> 00:26:00,064
That would be a bit of a stretch.

552
00:26:00,065 --> 00:26:02,884
He has eyes for Barry's daughter, Maggie.

553
00:26:02,885 --> 00:26:04,374
Barry wouldn't like that.

554
00:26:04,375 --> 00:26:08,104
- (sighs) I know this is a, a documentary and all.

555
00:26:08,105 --> 00:26:10,774
I dunno how much I can share,

556
00:26:10,775 --> 00:26:13,654
but yeah, I've got, I've got
some feelings for her for sure.

557
00:26:13,655 --> 00:26:14,488
You know?

558
00:26:15,875 --> 00:26:18,664
Yeah, it just is a bit, bit of a tricky one.

559
00:26:18,665 --> 00:26:22,621
'Cause you know, being Baz, Barry's daughter, you know,

560
00:26:22,622 --> 00:26:25,765
he does have a bit of a thing about that as well, so...

561
00:26:26,645 --> 00:26:27,574
- Me and Johnny,

562
00:26:27,575 --> 00:26:30,124
we have these really nice scenes together

563
00:26:30,125 --> 00:26:32,824
and then suddenly it's like my dad got all like,

564
00:26:32,825 --> 00:26:34,384
pissy-arsed about it.

565
00:26:34,385 --> 00:26:35,884
- Actually, there's been a couple of times

566
00:26:35,885 --> 00:26:37,776
when we wanted to,

567
00:26:37,777 --> 00:26:39,101
like we say to Barry, like,

568
00:26:39,102 --> 00:26:42,216
"Okay, can we, should we do a kiss?

569
00:26:42,217 --> 00:26:43,234
"Should we snog?"

570
00:26:43,235 --> 00:26:45,034
- Suddenly writes in him totally different

571
00:26:45,035 --> 00:26:46,834
that I'm suddenly murdering him.

572
00:26:46,835 --> 00:26:49,084
It's like, it's almost like a subliminal message.

573
00:26:49,085 --> 00:26:50,981
Like, "this is gonna happen to you, Johnny,

574
00:26:50,982 --> 00:26:53,151
"touch my daughter" and all that.

575
00:26:53,152 --> 00:26:53,984
I don't even like him.

576
00:26:53,985 --> 00:26:55,144
Not that much anyway.

577
00:26:55,145 --> 00:26:56,918
I think it's 'cause he likes me.

578
00:26:57,815 --> 00:26:59,674
- Yeah, Maggie's, she's a catch.

579
00:26:59,675 --> 00:27:04,174
She's really like, yeah, she's, she's,

580
00:27:04,175 --> 00:27:06,364
she's, yeah, stunning.

581
00:27:06,365 --> 00:27:07,534
Yeah, she's really stunning.

582
00:27:07,535 --> 00:27:09,634
So, yeah.

583
00:27:09,635 --> 00:27:10,924
- In any other universe,

584
00:27:10,925 --> 00:27:12,394
they'd be made for each other.

585
00:27:12,395 --> 00:27:17,164
Anyway, can I do the thing?

586
00:27:17,165 --> 00:27:20,258
As I mentioned before, I used to work for Barry.

587
00:27:21,606 --> 00:27:24,439
(laid back music)

588
00:27:26,285 --> 00:27:28,504
Normally I would not have a beard,

589
00:27:28,505 --> 00:27:30,998
but today I've got one.

590
00:27:31,925 --> 00:27:33,634
Look, Baldy and Slaphead!

591
00:27:33,635 --> 00:27:36,815
What the chances of that happening, eh, eh, eh, eh?

592
00:27:36,816 --> 00:27:37,783
Complimentary cookie?

593
00:27:37,784 --> 00:27:39,534
Get off, get off!

594
00:27:39,535 --> 00:27:43,824
Oh, my old dad, well, daddy, he died again.

595
00:27:43,825 --> 00:27:45,723
What are the chances of that happening?

596
00:27:45,724 --> 00:27:49,065
Sweeter than a hazelnut, the, um...

597
00:27:49,066 --> 00:27:50,584
complimentary cookie?

598
00:27:50,585 --> 00:27:51,604
Complimentary cookie?

599
00:27:51,605 --> 00:27:53,494
Get off, get off!

600
00:27:53,495 --> 00:27:55,864
Goal! And bowl.

601
00:27:55,865 --> 00:27:58,144
What are the chances of that happening?

602
00:27:58,145 --> 00:27:59,944
You get the idea of that, anyway.

603
00:27:59,945 --> 00:28:03,034
- Okay, so I've, I've actually got a gig coming up.

604
00:28:03,035 --> 00:28:05,314
It's quite soon, it's next week, actually.

605
00:28:05,315 --> 00:28:06,814
Next weekend.

606
00:28:06,815 --> 00:28:11,815
And yeah, a big name in the world of miniature snooker,

607
00:28:12,095 --> 00:28:13,504
guy called Wolfgang.

608
00:28:13,505 --> 00:28:16,504
And he's gonna be playing, it's miniature snooker

609
00:28:16,505 --> 00:28:18,784
and there's championships

610
00:28:18,785 --> 00:28:21,724
and people take it quite, you know, seriously.

611
00:28:21,725 --> 00:28:23,434
They really do love it.

612
00:28:23,435 --> 00:28:26,464
And yeah, just with the halftime

613
00:28:26,465 --> 00:28:29,914
I'm gonna be keeping the crowd entertained

614
00:28:29,915 --> 00:28:31,954
with, with my routine.

615
00:28:31,955 --> 00:28:35,254
So yeah, we'll see how that goes.

616
00:28:35,255 --> 00:28:37,054
- Hello, I'm not Peter Ebdon

617
00:28:37,055 --> 00:28:38,134
and I'm here in a bubble bath

618
00:28:38,135 --> 00:28:40,097
to explain the rules of snooker to you.

619
00:28:40,098 --> 00:28:40,930
(upbeat music)

620
00:28:40,931 --> 00:28:42,724
Snooker is a cool cue sport

621
00:28:42,725 --> 00:28:45,034
played on a rectangular table with pockets.

622
00:28:45,035 --> 00:28:46,414
The goal is to score points

623
00:28:46,415 --> 00:28:49,204
by potting balls in a specific order.

624
00:28:49,205 --> 00:28:51,334
At the beginning there are 15 red balls

625
00:28:51,335 --> 00:28:53,404
set up in a triangle shape,

626
00:28:53,405 --> 00:28:55,354
and then the individually colored balls

627
00:28:55,355 --> 00:28:57,274
have their spots on the table.

628
00:28:57,275 --> 00:28:59,554
Now players take turns using the cue stick

629
00:28:59,555 --> 00:29:01,204
to hit the white cue ball,

630
00:29:01,205 --> 00:29:03,754
trying to pot one of the red balls first

631
00:29:03,755 --> 00:29:05,464
followed by a colored one.

632
00:29:05,465 --> 00:29:08,164
Each ball they pot earns them some points.

633
00:29:08,165 --> 00:29:10,354
Red balls are worth just one point each,

634
00:29:10,355 --> 00:29:12,784
but the colored ones are a bit fancier.

635
00:29:12,785 --> 00:29:16,504
Yellow is two points, green is three, brown is four,

636
00:29:16,505 --> 00:29:18,814
blue is five, pink is six,

637
00:29:18,815 --> 00:29:21,754
and the black one is worth the most at seven points.

638
00:29:21,755 --> 00:29:23,944
The player pots a red, then a color,

639
00:29:23,945 --> 00:29:26,854
then another red and another color and so forth.

640
00:29:26,855 --> 00:29:28,594
The colored balls that get potted

641
00:29:28,595 --> 00:29:30,004
are placed back on the table

642
00:29:30,005 --> 00:29:32,044
until all the red ones are gone.

643
00:29:32,045 --> 00:29:33,784
The really cool part is that as long

644
00:29:33,785 --> 00:29:36,124
as they keep potting balls legally,

645
00:29:36,125 --> 00:29:37,924
players can keep their turn going,

646
00:29:37,925 --> 00:29:40,054
creating what's called a break.

647
00:29:40,055 --> 00:29:41,164
But beware.

648
00:29:41,165 --> 00:29:43,504
There are foul rules and if someone messes up,

649
00:29:43,505 --> 00:29:46,234
the other player can earn penalty points.

650
00:29:46,235 --> 00:29:48,904
The game ends when all the balls are potted

651
00:29:48,905 --> 00:29:52,024
and the player with the most
points is declared the winner.

652
00:29:52,025 --> 00:29:54,904
Remember, there's more to
snooker than just this basic stuff

653
00:29:54,905 --> 00:29:56,854
like clever strategies, safety play,

654
00:29:56,855 --> 00:29:58,864
and other tricks that make it a real blast

655
00:29:58,865 --> 00:30:00,514
to play and watch.

656
00:30:00,515 --> 00:30:02,914
Snooker is traditionally played on a 12 foot

657
00:30:02,915 --> 00:30:04,684
by six foot table,

658
00:30:04,685 --> 00:30:07,054
but the world championships of miniature snooker

659
00:30:07,055 --> 00:30:10,701
are conducted on a table just 36 inches in length.

660
00:30:10,702 --> 00:30:12,274
(film clicks)

661
00:30:12,275 --> 00:30:13,954
- [Narrator] Of mixed European heritage.

662
00:30:13,955 --> 00:30:16,624
Wolfgang grew up in East Berlin as the son

663
00:30:16,625 --> 00:30:18,625
of a highly ranking Stasi official.

664
00:30:18,626 --> 00:30:19,547
(gentle music)

665
00:30:19,548 --> 00:30:21,604
(film clicks)

666
00:30:21,605 --> 00:30:23,014
Secret documents revealed

667
00:30:23,015 --> 00:30:25,294
he was snuck into the houses of dissidents

668
00:30:25,295 --> 00:30:27,154
to subtly rearrange furniture.

669
00:30:27,155 --> 00:30:29,836
So the victims thought they were going crazy.

670
00:30:29,837 --> 00:30:31,504
(gentle music) (film clicks)

671
00:30:31,505 --> 00:30:34,984
Be it an open window, a cat flap, or any nook and cranny,

672
00:30:34,985 --> 00:30:36,782
he would squeeze his way in.

673
00:30:36,783 --> 00:30:38,824
(gentle music) (film clicks)

674
00:30:38,825 --> 00:30:40,564
After the fall of the Berlin Wall,

675
00:30:40,565 --> 00:30:44,104
Wolfgang found a new outlet
for his love of cramped spaces,

676
00:30:44,105 --> 00:30:45,878
the world of miniature snooker.

677
00:30:46,750 --> 00:30:48,094
(gentle music) (film clicks)

678
00:30:48,095 --> 00:30:49,774
- [Sportscaster] We are taking a halftime break

679
00:30:49,775 --> 00:30:51,874
during this qualification match

680
00:30:51,875 --> 00:30:54,724
between Wolfgang and Prince Pretty.

681
00:30:54,725 --> 00:30:56,314
Don't go anywhere.

682
00:30:56,315 --> 00:30:58,628
Here comes the halftime entertainment.

683
00:30:58,629 --> 00:30:59,824
(audience claps)

684
00:30:59,825 --> 00:31:01,025
- Good evening everyone.

685
00:31:02,997 --> 00:31:05,494
I'm your Ronnie Sullivan lookalike.

686
00:31:05,495 --> 00:31:06,728
Any ball, any pocket?

687
00:31:08,128 --> 00:31:09,627
- [Spectator] Go for blue in the middle.

688
00:31:09,628 --> 00:31:11,524
- Blue in the middle.

689
00:31:11,525 --> 00:31:12,357
Great.

690
00:31:12,358 --> 00:31:15,275
I like to do a sort of line.

691
00:31:16,925 --> 00:31:17,757
(upbeat music) (Johnny breaks)

692
00:31:17,758 --> 00:31:20,138
For now, I'll just put these in my pockets.

693
00:31:21,065 --> 00:31:22,414
Okay, here we go.

694
00:31:22,415 --> 00:31:24,484
I really hope you're having a good time.

695
00:31:24,485 --> 00:31:28,204
Wolfgang, you'll be back here in a couple of minutes.

696
00:31:28,205 --> 00:31:29,038
Right.

697
00:31:33,603 --> 00:31:36,353
(audience claps)

698
00:31:37,715 --> 00:31:39,574
Okay, ladies and gentlemen,

699
00:31:39,575 --> 00:31:42,494
this is my final trick shot for tonight.

700
00:31:42,495 --> 00:31:45,833
Now, I don't if you've seen me do this before,

701
00:31:45,834 --> 00:31:47,502
but this is my favorite.

702
00:31:47,503 --> 00:31:48,817
I made this a couple of years ago.

703
00:31:48,818 --> 00:31:50,974
Very proud of this shot.

704
00:31:50,975 --> 00:31:52,808
This one's called Hell's Cross.

705
00:31:53,644 --> 00:31:55,594
(upbeat music)

706
00:31:55,595 --> 00:31:57,308
No clapping, but that's all right.

707
00:31:58,298 --> 00:31:59,130
(cue ball strikes other balls)

708
00:31:59,131 --> 00:32:00,229
(balls fall in pockets)

709
00:32:00,230 --> 00:32:01,062
Thank you very much.

710
00:32:01,063 --> 00:32:01,895
(audience claps and cheers)

711
00:32:01,896 --> 00:32:02,794
So I hope you enjoyed that.

712
00:32:02,795 --> 00:32:04,324
I really hope to see you all again.

713
00:32:04,325 --> 00:32:07,399
- Way to go Johnny.

714
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:09,334
- What is he doing here with the documentary crew?

715
00:32:09,335 --> 00:32:10,354
They should be filming me.

716
00:32:10,355 --> 00:32:11,738
I am the greatest player.

717
00:32:11,739 --> 00:32:12,571
(audience boos)

718
00:32:12,572 --> 00:32:14,794
I will win the bloody whole tournament.

719
00:32:14,795 --> 00:32:16,823
Who's the pretty lady friend over there?

720
00:32:16,824 --> 00:32:18,634
(audience boos)

721
00:32:18,635 --> 00:32:19,924
- Do you wanna go with a real champion tonight?

722
00:32:19,925 --> 00:32:21,059
- Hey, get your hands off her!

723
00:32:21,060 --> 00:32:22,059
- [Maggie] Creepy bastard.

724
00:32:22,060 --> 00:32:23,409
- Get your hands off her.

725
00:32:23,410 --> 00:32:24,754
- [Barry] Okay, okay, okay.

726
00:32:24,755 --> 00:32:27,244
- Johnny, it's not worth it.

727
00:32:27,245 --> 00:32:29,524
- Sorry, ladies or gentlemen, sorry.

728
00:32:29,525 --> 00:32:31,384
Sorry, hello, hello.

729
00:32:31,385 --> 00:32:32,650
There's your cue.

730
00:32:32,651 --> 00:32:34,509
Well done, son, all right?

731
00:32:34,510 --> 00:32:36,958
Come on dear, get you out of here.

732
00:32:36,959 --> 00:32:39,694
- See you later. - All right.

733
00:32:39,695 --> 00:32:41,704
- Sorry about this, guys.

734
00:32:41,705 --> 00:32:42,853
- Be having words with you.

735
00:32:42,854 --> 00:32:43,686
- See you, guys.

736
00:32:43,687 --> 00:32:45,328
- Oh, you'll be seeing me, all right.

737
00:32:48,082 --> 00:32:50,749
(crowd chatter)

738
00:32:51,954 --> 00:32:53,404
It's a good job I was there. (mutters)

739
00:32:53,405 --> 00:32:54,754
No, it's just not good.

740
00:32:54,755 --> 00:32:55,834
No, I don't like the fact

741
00:32:55,835 --> 00:32:59,138
that they were kind of, you know, leaning.

742
00:32:59,139 --> 00:33:01,224
I don't like leaning,

743
00:33:01,225 --> 00:33:03,604
you know, leaning in like that.

744
00:33:03,605 --> 00:33:04,951
No, they're getting a bit too close,

745
00:33:04,952 --> 00:33:06,514
er, close, for my liking.

746
00:33:06,515 --> 00:33:08,854
A bit too bloody close.

747
00:33:08,855 --> 00:33:10,102
Gonna be having words with her

748
00:33:10,103 --> 00:33:12,304
and I'm gonna be having words with him.

749
00:33:12,305 --> 00:33:15,664
Yeah. And when I mean words, I mean words,

750
00:33:15,665 --> 00:33:19,071
proper 1970s Northern words,

751
00:33:19,072 --> 00:33:20,512
you know what I mean?

752
00:33:21,752 --> 00:33:22,584
(audience boos)

753
00:33:22,585 --> 00:33:23,824
- [Sportscaster] He does it again.

754
00:33:23,825 --> 00:33:25,639
An easy qualification for Wolfgang.

755
00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:27,724
(audience boos)

756
00:33:27,725 --> 00:33:30,394
We'll be seeing him defend his title at the finals

757
00:33:30,395 --> 00:33:33,855
of the World Championships of Miniature Snooker.

758
00:33:35,661 --> 00:33:38,244
(upbeat music)

759
00:33:43,925 --> 00:33:46,984
- Snooker Man, you're a disgrace.

760
00:33:46,985 --> 00:33:50,464
Everything you do is a disgrace.

761
00:33:50,465 --> 00:33:52,624
It's a disgrace they're doing a documentary

762
00:33:52,625 --> 00:33:55,744
about your shitty lookalike business.

763
00:33:55,745 --> 00:33:58,144
I am the one they should be focusing on.

764
00:33:58,145 --> 00:34:00,364
They should be following my story

765
00:34:00,365 --> 00:34:05,164
on the way to winning the
world title of miniature snooker.

766
00:34:05,165 --> 00:34:06,848
If you're not such a pussy,

767
00:34:07,925 --> 00:34:11,288
I dare you to enter a
qualification match to the finals.

768
00:34:12,905 --> 00:34:13,738
Let me know

769
00:34:15,032 --> 00:34:16,628
and I can fix it for you.

770
00:34:17,701 --> 00:34:20,194
If you dare, I hope to embarrass you in front

771
00:34:20,195 --> 00:34:21,874
of your little princess.

772
00:34:21,875 --> 00:34:22,954
If we ever face each other

773
00:34:22,955 --> 00:34:26,618
because you're a pussy, disgrace,

774
00:34:27,455 --> 00:34:30,132
peace out and piss off.

775
00:34:30,133 --> 00:34:35,133
(mysterious music) (Twitter chimes)

776
00:34:35,391 --> 00:34:38,141
(Twitter chimes)

777
00:34:40,230 --> 00:34:42,980
(Twitter chimes)

778
00:34:45,105 --> 00:34:47,855
(Twitter chimes)

779
00:34:50,255 --> 00:34:51,784
- Can we go around the table

780
00:34:51,785 --> 00:34:55,388
and can you tell me whom
you are all having affairs with?

781
00:34:56,465 --> 00:34:59,164
Dobby is free!

782
00:34:59,165 --> 00:35:01,084
Free Dobby!

783
00:35:01,085 --> 00:35:03,368
Master gave Dobby a sock!

784
00:35:06,190 --> 00:35:07,022
(laid back music)

785
00:35:07,023 --> 00:35:08,745
You see, I reckon that

786
00:35:09,602 --> 00:35:12,398
I'm a better Toby Jones than Toby Jones.

787
00:35:13,625 --> 00:35:15,957
You know, I mean, just look at the quality

788
00:35:15,958 --> 00:35:17,674
of this work already.

789
00:35:17,675 --> 00:35:19,144
Hello, Toby.

790
00:35:19,145 --> 00:35:20,644
See, I can just drop into it like that.

791
00:35:20,645 --> 00:35:24,454
I've never been hired out as a Toby Jones lookalike,

792
00:35:24,455 --> 00:35:26,644
but then I've not put myself out there.

793
00:35:26,645 --> 00:35:28,504
Well then I named my daughter Maggie

794
00:35:28,505 --> 00:35:32,168
'cause of Maggie Thatcher, the Iron Lady.

795
00:35:33,275 --> 00:35:34,924
Yeah, inspiration.

796
00:35:34,925 --> 00:35:37,294
No one's ever happy with the boss they've got.

797
00:35:37,295 --> 00:35:41,434
All my past employees saying I'm the worst boss?

798
00:35:41,435 --> 00:35:43,924
At least they had a boss!

799
00:35:43,925 --> 00:35:47,006
If it weren't for me, they'd be on t'dole, wouldn't they?

800
00:35:47,007 --> 00:35:51,472
Ratings? "The lowest rated lookalike agency"?

801
00:35:51,473 --> 00:35:52,462
Who's rating it?

802
00:35:52,463 --> 00:35:53,723
That's what I say.

803
00:35:53,724 --> 00:35:54,577
Who's rating it?

804
00:35:54,578 --> 00:35:57,728
It's just a matter of opinion, that's all.

805
00:35:57,729 --> 00:36:00,562
(laid back music)

806
00:36:03,097 --> 00:36:04,617
(Barry sniffs)

807
00:36:04,618 --> 00:36:07,517
Right, one thing that's important

808
00:36:07,518 --> 00:36:09,827
when you're

809
00:36:09,828 --> 00:36:12,938
a boss of a high-powered lookalike place,

810
00:36:14,306 --> 00:36:16,024
(Barry unzips suit)

811
00:36:16,025 --> 00:36:18,184
is you have to keep in shape.

812
00:36:18,185 --> 00:36:20,515
I do like (grunts)

813
00:36:24,023 --> 00:36:26,606
to keep myself toned, you know?

814
00:36:28,851 --> 00:36:33,851
Keep myself toned.

815
00:36:34,012 --> 00:36:35,246
So, each morning,

816
00:36:35,247 --> 00:36:38,906
(Barry zips up suit)

817
00:36:38,907 --> 00:36:40,157
a little bit of exercise.

818
00:36:41,855 --> 00:36:42,688
Right.

819
00:36:43,745 --> 00:36:45,034
Quick workout.

820
00:36:45,035 --> 00:36:47,573
(laid back music)

821
00:36:47,574 --> 00:36:49,444
(Barry exhales)

822
00:36:49,445 --> 00:36:53,531
You see, the snooker guys don't have to go to all this,

823
00:36:53,532 --> 00:36:54,949
all this trouble.

824
00:36:56,873 --> 00:36:59,284
Now the thing is, (grunts)

825
00:36:59,285 --> 00:37:02,364
Johnny's going into the proper tournament now,

826
00:37:02,365 --> 00:37:06,064
so I'm gonna get him into some training.

827
00:37:06,065 --> 00:37:07,478
He's gotta get disciplined.

828
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:11,090
You know, the way I am.

829
00:37:11,091 --> 00:37:13,168
(grunts) I'm gonna be encouraging all that.

830
00:37:14,210 --> 00:37:18,124
(puffs) So, gotta get myself in shape as well.

831
00:37:18,125 --> 00:37:21,064
Now, Johnny, (grunts)

832
00:37:21,065 --> 00:37:22,058
as usual,

833
00:37:23,045 --> 00:37:24,285
has been complaining

834
00:37:25,445 --> 00:37:27,645
about not being able to fit his snooker cue

835
00:37:29,855 --> 00:37:30,905
into his flat.

836
00:37:31,742 --> 00:37:34,834
Now what I say is, (sniffs)

837
00:37:34,835 --> 00:37:36,435
instead of complaining about it,

838
00:37:37,535 --> 00:37:38,828
do something about it.

839
00:37:40,205 --> 00:37:41,858
You know, work with the problem.

840
00:37:42,845 --> 00:37:44,858
Don't just come complaining to me.

841
00:37:45,965 --> 00:37:47,914
Can't deal with all your problems.

842
00:37:47,915 --> 00:37:49,718
Adapt to the situation.

843
00:37:50,708 --> 00:37:53,798
Just stop bloody morning.

844
00:37:54,832 --> 00:37:55,664
(shower runs)

845
00:37:55,665 --> 00:37:58,299
Yeah, I'm gonna be right there beside him

846
00:37:58,300 --> 00:38:01,209
every step of the way.

847
00:38:01,210 --> 00:38:04,365
Yeah, he's got problems

848
00:38:05,222 --> 00:38:07,534
and I'm gonna sort 'em out with him.

849
00:38:07,535 --> 00:38:09,336
He's to work on his gear

850
00:38:09,337 --> 00:38:11,224
(laid back music)

851
00:38:11,225 --> 00:38:14,168
and because of this gig that I've got him,

852
00:38:15,515 --> 00:38:18,225
there's gonna be a lot more work coming his way

853
00:38:19,845 --> 00:38:20,764
(laid back music) (shower runs)

854
00:38:20,765 --> 00:38:23,297
and I'm gonna be right there making sure

855
00:38:23,298 --> 00:38:26,374
(laid back music) (shower runs)

856
00:38:26,375 --> 00:38:28,148
then he gets that work.

857
00:38:29,159 --> 00:38:33,124
And what we could end up doing is going right to t'top.

858
00:38:33,125 --> 00:38:36,098
Right to t'top at lookalike business.

859
00:38:38,407 --> 00:38:39,657
All down to me.

860
00:38:41,951 --> 00:38:43,378
Yeah?

861
00:38:43,379 --> 00:38:44,546
(messenger chimes)

862
00:38:44,547 --> 00:38:46,114
- How's it going, all right?

863
00:38:46,115 --> 00:38:47,194
- Not so bad, lad.

864
00:38:47,195 --> 00:38:49,594
How are you doing yourself?

865
00:38:49,595 --> 00:38:51,094
- [Johnny] I'm beginning a lot better.

866
00:38:51,095 --> 00:38:52,444
- I can see that, actually.

867
00:38:52,445 --> 00:38:54,244
Yeah, you've got the little web cam on the go there,

868
00:38:54,245 --> 00:38:55,077
haven't you?

869
00:38:55,078 --> 00:38:55,910
- Pretty good, eh?

870
00:38:55,911 --> 00:38:56,744
So yeah, you know,

871
00:38:57,976 --> 00:38:59,284
(Johnny pots ball)

872
00:38:59,285 --> 00:39:00,184
it's not really,

873
00:39:00,185 --> 00:39:02,554
not really ideal, you know, like this is,

874
00:39:02,555 --> 00:39:04,564
this has been good enough up until now,

875
00:39:04,565 --> 00:39:06,986
but I really do need some more space, you know?

876
00:39:06,987 --> 00:39:08,947
- Well (laughs), could be,

877
00:39:08,948 --> 00:39:11,314
have you seen where I'm living?

878
00:39:11,315 --> 00:39:13,684
You're in a bigger place than I am.

879
00:39:13,685 --> 00:39:14,794
Yeah?

880
00:39:14,795 --> 00:39:17,619
You know, you just make, do, make, do you know?

881
00:39:17,620 --> 00:39:18,704
(Johnny pots ball)

882
00:39:18,705 --> 00:39:19,684
Angle your...

883
00:39:19,685 --> 00:39:21,334
Tell you what,

884
00:39:21,335 --> 00:39:22,354
tell you what, you know.

885
00:39:22,355 --> 00:39:24,964
It is like, like me old man used to do

886
00:39:24,965 --> 00:39:27,214
at cycle proficiency, right?

887
00:39:27,215 --> 00:39:28,384
Right, listen up.

888
00:39:28,385 --> 00:39:30,784
Used to put the cones tighter together

889
00:39:30,785 --> 00:39:32,644
that you had to cycle round.

890
00:39:32,645 --> 00:39:33,874
So when you took your test

891
00:39:33,875 --> 00:39:36,064
and they were wider apart,

892
00:39:36,065 --> 00:39:37,204
it was a doddle!

893
00:39:37,205 --> 00:39:38,914
Same wi' your flat.

894
00:39:38,915 --> 00:39:41,591
When you've got all the room in t'world in t'tournament,

895
00:39:41,592 --> 00:39:42,724
you're gonna be brilliant!

896
00:39:42,725 --> 00:39:44,914
So actually, it's good for your training

897
00:39:44,915 --> 00:39:46,801
to be where you are, eh?

898
00:39:46,802 --> 00:39:49,624
- The only thing is, it's just so limited.

899
00:39:49,625 --> 00:39:52,754
The space, as you can see, it's just,

900
00:39:52,755 --> 00:39:55,924
I can maneuver around so much, you know?

901
00:39:55,925 --> 00:39:59,554
- Okay, I can, I can look, I can look into it.

902
00:39:59,555 --> 00:40:01,275
I can, I can look for you,

903
00:40:01,276 --> 00:40:03,844
(Johnny pots ball) you know.

904
00:40:03,845 --> 00:40:05,317
- Easy. - Let me have a think.

905
00:40:05,318 --> 00:40:07,018
- I'll catch you later, all right?

906
00:40:08,075 --> 00:40:10,594
Remember, please just get that,

907
00:40:10,595 --> 00:40:11,648
get that flat for me.

908
00:40:12,611 --> 00:40:15,194
(upbeat music)

909
00:40:31,565 --> 00:40:35,104
So yeah, I'm having my first ever

910
00:40:35,105 --> 00:40:37,268
proper game in a basement.

911
00:40:38,255 --> 00:40:40,297
Erm, don't really know what to say.

912
00:40:40,298 --> 00:40:42,334
It's just a bit of a...

913
00:40:42,335 --> 00:40:45,184
Yeah, it is cold and it's dingy

914
00:40:45,185 --> 00:40:48,394
and I'm sure it is a tactic

915
00:40:48,395 --> 00:40:50,494
choosing this location.

916
00:40:50,495 --> 00:40:54,214
He, it sounds like he knows exactly what this spot is

917
00:40:54,215 --> 00:40:57,514
and I'm sure, you know, he knows exactly what he's doing.

918
00:40:57,515 --> 00:40:59,344
- [Sportscaster] Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen

919
00:40:59,345 --> 00:41:02,284
to this qualification match for the finals

920
00:41:02,285 --> 00:41:05,081
of the Miniature Snooker World Championships.

921
00:41:05,082 --> 00:41:05,914
(dramatic rock music)

922
00:41:05,915 --> 00:41:06,784
Best of five.

923
00:41:06,785 --> 00:41:08,828
Let's go, Nadra to break.

924
00:41:10,013 --> 00:41:11,224
(moody rock music)

925
00:41:11,225 --> 00:41:12,985
He's set up nicely for the pink.

926
00:41:12,986 --> 00:41:15,903
(moody rock music)

927
00:41:18,035 --> 00:41:19,334
Nadra takes the lead.

928
00:41:19,335 --> 00:41:22,174
(moody rock music)

929
00:41:22,175 --> 00:41:23,528
Snooker Man to break.

930
00:41:25,715 --> 00:41:26,974
Red goes down.

931
00:41:26,975 --> 00:41:29,194
He makes it look so easy.

932
00:41:29,195 --> 00:41:30,664
Nadra doesn't like that.

933
00:41:30,665 --> 00:41:32,287
Nice rollback off the blue.

934
00:41:32,288 --> 00:41:35,194
(moody rock music)

935
00:41:35,195 --> 00:41:37,114
Snooker Man pulls it back.

936
00:41:37,115 --> 00:41:39,056
One all.

937
00:41:39,057 --> 00:41:41,974
(moody rock music)

938
00:41:44,555 --> 00:41:45,428
Pots it.

939
00:41:46,895 --> 00:41:48,458
Pink-tastic!

940
00:41:49,835 --> 00:41:51,634
Black attack!

941
00:41:51,635 --> 00:41:55,092
Snooker Man takes advantage
and can see blood in the water.

942
00:41:55,093 --> 00:41:57,964
(moody rock music)

943
00:41:57,965 --> 00:41:59,944
Just this black to win.

944
00:41:59,945 --> 00:42:01,898
He does! He does it!

945
00:42:05,015 --> 00:42:08,914
Snooker Man has signed himself off to the finals.

946
00:42:08,915 --> 00:42:09,747
- Over the moon.

947
00:42:09,748 --> 00:42:10,924
Over the moon, really.

948
00:42:10,925 --> 00:42:13,594
This is a perfect start, perfect start.

949
00:42:13,595 --> 00:42:15,505
- Sure, yeah, he could go all the way, I bet.

950
00:42:15,506 --> 00:42:16,338
He's a real talent.

951
00:42:16,339 --> 00:42:20,044
We'll, yeah, yeah.

952
00:42:20,045 --> 00:42:21,638
Good luck. Yeah.

953
00:42:22,780 --> 00:42:23,674
(downbeat music)

954
00:42:23,675 --> 00:42:24,964
- [Narrator] We caught up with Snooker Man

955
00:42:24,965 --> 00:42:26,618
three months before the finals.

956
00:42:27,665 --> 00:42:30,904
Unfortunately he's received some bad news.

957
00:42:30,905 --> 00:42:32,288
This is what happened.

958
00:42:35,435 --> 00:42:37,204
- I'm not gonna lie. Gutted.

959
00:42:37,205 --> 00:42:39,544
(downbeat music)

960
00:42:39,545 --> 00:42:42,282
Yeah, I, I feel, I feel gutted and,

961
00:42:43,295 --> 00:42:45,195
and I was really getting into it, and,

962
00:42:47,405 --> 00:42:49,568
yeah, really excited and,

963
00:42:50,885 --> 00:42:53,044
yeah, you know,

964
00:42:53,045 --> 00:42:54,061
it all seemed to be going well.

965
00:42:54,062 --> 00:42:58,508
And then, yeah, they had to bring this thing back up.

966
00:43:00,515 --> 00:43:01,348
- Hello.

967
00:43:03,695 --> 00:43:05,554
As the leading representative

968
00:43:05,555 --> 00:43:08,884
and the number one ranked miniature snooker player

969
00:43:08,885 --> 00:43:10,864
in the world,

970
00:43:10,865 --> 00:43:14,974
I regret you to inform you all today

971
00:43:14,975 --> 00:43:19,778
of a bigoted indigration
from one of my fellow players.

972
00:43:21,035 --> 00:43:22,474
- It's just a tweet.

973
00:43:22,475 --> 00:43:24,094
It was just a silly tweet,

974
00:43:24,095 --> 00:43:26,944
but you know, it's Twitter for you.

975
00:43:26,945 --> 00:43:31,945
And I mean, bloody hell, it's 12 years ago, 2009.

976
00:43:32,705 --> 00:43:34,774
- On the 5th of June, 2009,

977
00:43:34,775 --> 00:43:38,408
Johnny Bonnar, also known as Snooker Man,

978
00:43:39,815 --> 00:43:42,668
tweeted the following, and I quote,

979
00:43:43,842 --> 00:43:47,042
"Dolphins are just gay sharks".

980
00:43:48,478 --> 00:43:49,534
(downbeat music)

981
00:43:49,535 --> 00:43:53,314
- Yeah. I just, I've always had this thing about dolphins

982
00:43:53,315 --> 00:43:54,694
looking like gay sharks.

983
00:43:54,695 --> 00:43:55,528
That's all.

984
00:43:56,405 --> 00:44:00,004
- I apologize for the homophobic rant

985
00:44:00,005 --> 00:44:02,768
from my fellow professional.

986
00:44:04,415 --> 00:44:09,415
These acts will not go unpunished.

987
00:44:09,425 --> 00:44:12,124
The Federation of Miniature Snooker

988
00:44:12,125 --> 00:44:15,694
have therefore annulled the qualification

989
00:44:15,695 --> 00:44:18,915
of Snooker Man in the championships

990
00:44:19,865 --> 00:44:23,734
and will be replaced in the competition

991
00:44:23,735 --> 00:44:27,004
for my good friend, the Ambassador.

992
00:44:27,005 --> 00:44:28,624
That is all.

993
00:44:28,625 --> 00:44:30,034
- Why has he gotta dig that up?

994
00:44:30,035 --> 00:44:32,408
Dig up this bloody tweet from years ago?

995
00:44:33,635 --> 00:44:36,004
You know, this, this guy.

996
00:44:36,005 --> 00:44:38,794
Seriously. Like, what a prick.

997
00:44:38,795 --> 00:44:41,824
You know, you think you're all, that you're not, you're not,

998
00:44:41,825 --> 00:44:42,775
you're just a prick

999
00:44:43,745 --> 00:44:44,618
giving it large.

1000
00:44:46,715 --> 00:44:47,912
Wanker.

1001
00:44:47,913 --> 00:44:49,614
(Twitter chimes)

1002
00:44:49,615 --> 00:44:52,965
(downbeat music)

1003
00:44:52,966 --> 00:44:56,224
I just feel like, you know, this world can be so,

1004
00:44:56,225 --> 00:44:58,594
so hard sometimes

1005
00:44:58,595 --> 00:45:01,444
and you just want to do something, you know,

1006
00:45:01,445 --> 00:45:02,645
just wanna do something.

1007
00:45:06,935 --> 00:45:09,158
And then you get some, some,

1008
00:45:10,535 --> 00:45:13,654
someone like Wolfgang come
around the corner and you know,

1009
00:45:13,655 --> 00:45:14,974
or someone, there's always someone

1010
00:45:14,975 --> 00:45:17,025
or something that gets in the way, right?

1011
00:45:18,455 --> 00:45:20,491
And I was, you know, I was enjoying this

1012
00:45:20,492 --> 00:45:22,264
and I was working hard at it

1013
00:45:22,265 --> 00:45:25,187
and I was, I like to think I was, yeah,

1014
00:45:25,188 --> 00:45:26,638
I like to put on a good show.

1015
00:45:28,276 --> 00:45:31,026
(downbeat music)

1016
00:45:33,155 --> 00:45:34,037
Sorry.

1017
00:45:34,038 --> 00:45:36,788
(downbeat music)

1018
00:45:41,495 --> 00:45:42,718
- [Director] Should we stop?

1019
00:45:46,685 --> 00:45:48,248
- I dunno. Yeah, maybe.

1020
00:45:50,885 --> 00:45:53,074
- As your future world champion,

1021
00:45:53,075 --> 00:45:56,704
I am getting sick and tired
of the internet suggestion

1022
00:45:56,705 --> 00:45:58,714
that I got Snooker Man suspended

1023
00:45:58,715 --> 00:46:00,724
because I am scared to face him

1024
00:46:00,725 --> 00:46:03,064
in a game of miniature snooker.

1025
00:46:03,065 --> 00:46:05,164
This is complete bullshit!

1026
00:46:05,165 --> 00:46:06,784
I have no time for this shit, man.

1027
00:46:06,785 --> 00:46:09,604
This is all I have to say on the matter.

1028
00:46:09,605 --> 00:46:11,134
Snooker man is a jackass

1029
00:46:11,135 --> 00:46:13,474
and deserves everything that has happened to him.

1030
00:46:13,475 --> 00:46:15,184
He's nothing but a stupid fool

1031
00:46:15,185 --> 00:46:17,494
and a depressing waste of time.

1032
00:46:17,495 --> 00:46:18,328
Goodnight.

1033
00:46:19,865 --> 00:46:24,865
- So welcome to my new, my new abode.

1034
00:46:25,205 --> 00:46:28,234
And yes, it's about time.

1035
00:46:28,235 --> 00:46:29,944
I had an upgrade from Barry, really.

1036
00:46:29,945 --> 00:46:31,444
So Barry owns this place.

1037
00:46:31,445 --> 00:46:33,784
He's the land, he's essentially my landlord.

1038
00:46:33,785 --> 00:46:34,688
So he is now,

1039
00:46:35,765 --> 00:46:37,654
yeah, he's my boss and he's my landlord.

1040
00:46:37,655 --> 00:46:39,964
So the, the pressure's on a bit.

1041
00:46:39,965 --> 00:46:43,504
Yeah, there was, there was this one particular photo,

1042
00:46:43,505 --> 00:46:46,024
I dunno if you've seen it,

1043
00:46:46,025 --> 00:46:50,524
but yeah, it's, it's a Photoshop image.

1044
00:46:50,525 --> 00:46:52,804
They kind of copy pasted my face

1045
00:46:52,805 --> 00:46:56,644
and they put it into a, a scene where,

1046
00:46:56,645 --> 00:46:58,773
a picture where you've got this,

1047
00:46:58,774 --> 00:47:01,899
you've got this, got like the sea

1048
00:47:01,900 --> 00:47:05,311
and, and then you got this, this dolphin.

1049
00:47:05,312 --> 00:47:06,934
And then, and then you got me

1050
00:47:06,935 --> 00:47:10,653
and the dolphin's actually raping me.

1051
00:47:10,654 --> 00:47:13,564
(dolphin chatters)

1052
00:47:13,565 --> 00:47:17,588
The dolphin's really, really giving it to me, man.

1053
00:47:19,652 --> 00:47:21,128
(Johnny sighs)

1054
00:47:21,129 --> 00:47:22,774
(downbeat music)

1055
00:47:22,775 --> 00:47:24,218
Treasure Island was good.

1056
00:47:25,205 --> 00:47:26,554
It was good to be part

1057
00:47:26,555 --> 00:47:29,314
of Long John Silver's entourage.

1058
00:47:29,315 --> 00:47:33,770
They be a noisy bunch of lubbers
and swabs though, Captain!

1059
00:47:33,771 --> 00:47:35,771
My name is Blood Boiler!

1060
00:47:38,762 --> 00:47:39,594
"Oh yeah?

1061
00:47:39,595 --> 00:47:41,042
"And why do they call you that?"

1062
00:47:42,215 --> 00:47:47,044
Because when I gets angry, I'll go bonkers!

1063
00:47:47,045 --> 00:47:50,782
And when I gets bonkers, well, my blood boils!

1064
00:47:52,275 --> 00:47:54,175
And then when my blood boils, well, I,

1065
00:47:55,746 --> 00:47:57,844
I get a little bit overheated and,

1066
00:47:57,845 --> 00:48:00,818
and say things that I, I later regret.

1067
00:48:03,565 --> 00:48:05,074
I could do with the money right now.

1068
00:48:05,075 --> 00:48:09,244
And yeah, like I had three callbacks for that.

1069
00:48:09,245 --> 00:48:10,474
It's for the Quavers.

1070
00:48:10,475 --> 00:48:13,864
There's a new Quavers advert and a bit of a wacky one.

1071
00:48:13,865 --> 00:48:17,124
Yeah, it's like the character.

1072
00:48:17,125 --> 00:48:19,174
I, I was gonna be the main character,

1073
00:48:19,175 --> 00:48:21,244
the Quaver connoisseur.

1074
00:48:21,245 --> 00:48:23,038
And, and they just said to me, well,

1075
00:48:24,125 --> 00:48:27,124
that you, you know, step into the camera.

1076
00:48:27,125 --> 00:48:29,884
And they dressed me up as a giant block of cheese.

1077
00:48:29,885 --> 00:48:31,811
And I just had to say the one line,

1078
00:48:31,812 --> 00:48:34,024
"I'm the quaver connoisseur".

1079
00:48:34,025 --> 00:48:35,258
It went a bit more like,

1080
00:48:36,644 --> 00:48:38,972
(slurs) "I am the Quaver connoisseur".

1081
00:48:41,075 --> 00:48:43,984
But they, they went with someone else.

1082
00:48:43,985 --> 00:48:46,714
Yeah, they just went with
someone who apparently just had a,

1083
00:48:46,715 --> 00:48:49,114
a bit more of a French look.

1084
00:48:49,115 --> 00:48:50,261
Yeah, I did say like, well,

1085
00:48:50,262 --> 00:48:52,511
"You know, is there anything I could do

1086
00:48:52,512 --> 00:48:53,824
"to make myself look more French?"

1087
00:48:53,825 --> 00:48:57,004
But I did sort of send 'em a photo

1088
00:48:57,005 --> 00:48:59,644
with a sort of curly mustache.

1089
00:48:59,645 --> 00:49:01,145
Maybe they just didn't get it.

1090
00:49:02,015 --> 00:49:03,724
Yeah, maybe they just,

1091
00:49:03,725 --> 00:49:05,764
you know, they're busy, aren't they?

1092
00:49:05,765 --> 00:49:08,614
Love the character Rodney Trotter.

1093
00:49:08,615 --> 00:49:10,684
Classic, one of my favorites.

1094
00:49:10,685 --> 00:49:13,841
It's, it's just the national gem isn't it?

1095
00:49:13,842 --> 00:49:15,154
"Only Fools".

1096
00:49:15,155 --> 00:49:19,930
And so I saw this ad and I thought brilliant,

1097
00:49:19,931 --> 00:49:24,304
because again, a couple of people told me that,

1098
00:49:24,305 --> 00:49:26,140
that I looked a kind of like,

1099
00:49:26,141 --> 00:49:28,478
I remind them of Rodney.

1100
00:49:29,525 --> 00:49:31,354
So, not just that,

1101
00:49:31,355 --> 00:49:35,824
I think I have got that kind of quirkiness, I guess.

1102
00:49:35,825 --> 00:49:39,424
So yeah, I was, I was, I emailed them over

1103
00:49:39,425 --> 00:49:42,724
and said, hey yeah, I was so excited.

1104
00:49:42,725 --> 00:49:43,864
And I was right.

1105
00:49:43,865 --> 00:49:47,254
I was there, I was there like, the next day.

1106
00:49:47,255 --> 00:49:51,244
And then for audition, there was a lot of people,

1107
00:49:51,245 --> 00:49:52,654
and I could not believe it.

1108
00:49:52,655 --> 00:49:56,104
I could not believe it when
they actually called me back

1109
00:49:56,105 --> 00:49:57,071
and they said,

1110
00:49:57,072 --> 00:50:00,154
"Okay, we actually gotta workshop a couple of things"

1111
00:50:00,155 --> 00:50:00,988
and we did.

1112
00:50:02,375 --> 00:50:03,848
I'm gonna kill you!

1113
00:50:05,795 --> 00:50:08,318
You set her up to going out with me!

1114
00:50:09,725 --> 00:50:10,688
You paid her?

1115
00:50:11,825 --> 00:50:14,888
Trig, why do you call me Dave?

1116
00:50:16,325 --> 00:50:18,664
My name's not Dave.

1117
00:50:18,665 --> 00:50:20,614
My name's Rodney.

1118
00:50:20,615 --> 00:50:22,954
It is definitely Rodney!

1119
00:50:22,955 --> 00:50:25,654
And the reason they call me Rodney

1120
00:50:25,655 --> 00:50:28,894
is 'cause Rodney is my name!

1121
00:50:28,895 --> 00:50:30,784
We'd done the scenes and they were going well.

1122
00:50:30,785 --> 00:50:35,785
And then, yeah, for some reason, like, (sighs)

1123
00:50:37,985 --> 00:50:42,008
yeah, they gave me a call like a week ago just to say,

1124
00:50:44,067 --> 00:50:47,852
"I'm sorry Johnny, but we can't use you."

1125
00:50:49,145 --> 00:50:53,014
I said, "Really? Wow, okay."

1126
00:50:53,015 --> 00:50:56,648
And they said, yeah, there was the other guy, he's just,

1127
00:50:56,649 --> 00:50:59,344
he's just that bit taller than you.

1128
00:50:59,345 --> 00:51:02,696
And I just, I said, "Well, how about I wear platform shoes?"

1129
00:51:02,697 --> 00:51:03,530
They said, "No."

1130
00:51:05,598 --> 00:51:09,797
(sighs) Just gutted. Gutted.

1131
00:51:09,798 --> 00:51:10,630
(camera hums)

1132
00:51:10,631 --> 00:51:13,144
- [Narrator] The 147 break is a perfect score in snooker,

1133
00:51:13,145 --> 00:51:15,934
achieved within a single visit to the table.

1134
00:51:15,935 --> 00:51:18,034
There's a thriving speed running community

1135
00:51:18,035 --> 00:51:19,384
within miniature snooker,

1136
00:51:19,385 --> 00:51:21,334
with people recording themselves on camera,

1137
00:51:21,335 --> 00:51:23,824
performing their fastest 147 break

1138
00:51:23,825 --> 00:51:27,124
and submitting these runs to an online leaderboard.

1139
00:51:27,125 --> 00:51:30,484
The Ambassador has not only
used his influence as sponsor

1140
00:51:30,485 --> 00:51:33,094
to appropriate himself Snooker Man's former spot

1141
00:51:33,095 --> 00:51:34,414
in the tournament finals,

1142
00:51:34,415 --> 00:51:36,304
but he's also lobbied the organizers

1143
00:51:36,305 --> 00:51:37,954
to reserve a wild card place

1144
00:51:37,955 --> 00:51:41,074
for whoever holds the current 147 break record

1145
00:51:41,075 --> 00:51:43,234
as his opponent in the quarterfinals

1146
00:51:43,235 --> 00:51:46,624
under the pretense it'll make
the competition more exciting.

1147
00:51:46,625 --> 00:51:49,114
By anticipating this inevitable loophole,

1148
00:51:49,115 --> 00:51:53,074
the Ambassador has taken
the 147 break record for himself.

1149
00:51:53,075 --> 00:51:57,154
So will bypass straight to
the semifinals as things stand.

1150
00:51:57,155 --> 00:51:59,284
With his ban from miniature snooker ending,

1151
00:51:59,285 --> 00:52:02,284
this loophole also gives
Snooker Man his only chance

1152
00:52:02,285 --> 00:52:03,304
to get back in.

1153
00:52:03,305 --> 00:52:06,634
Whoever records themselves
performing the fastest 147 break

1154
00:52:06,635 --> 00:52:08,494
before midnight of the competition

1155
00:52:08,495 --> 00:52:10,474
gets an automatic placement.

1156
00:52:10,475 --> 00:52:12,154
The game is on.

1157
00:52:12,155 --> 00:52:15,904
- Yeah. Got, I got my table back up and running

1158
00:52:15,905 --> 00:52:18,307
and I'm putting in, I'm putting in some hours.

1159
00:52:18,308 --> 00:52:20,314
I'm, I'm shooting some good shots.

1160
00:52:20,315 --> 00:52:22,037
I'm quite excited about this.

1161
00:52:22,038 --> 00:52:25,834
- So, basically I started this whole idea.

1162
00:52:25,835 --> 00:52:28,127
It's very simple, you know.

1163
00:52:28,128 --> 00:52:30,244
I was quick. I'm clever.

1164
00:52:30,245 --> 00:52:33,214
The Ambassador coin, it's simple.

1165
00:52:33,215 --> 00:52:37,084
Once I take your money, yeah, I can show you things.

1166
00:52:37,085 --> 00:52:39,034
I'll give you a lot more back.

1167
00:52:39,035 --> 00:52:41,494
Some of my clients are incredible, yeah?

1168
00:52:41,495 --> 00:52:42,964
You should see 'em all over the place.

1169
00:52:42,965 --> 00:52:44,314
They're everywhere.

1170
00:52:44,315 --> 00:52:45,664
I mean, you won't be able to find them,

1171
00:52:45,665 --> 00:52:47,164
but they are everywhere.

1172
00:52:47,165 --> 00:52:49,564
It's like a game of snooker, yeah?

1173
00:52:49,565 --> 00:52:52,324
You sit there, you plan your moves.

1174
00:52:52,325 --> 00:52:54,244
It's on a miniature table.

1175
00:52:54,245 --> 00:52:56,854
The world is literally like a bank, right?

1176
00:52:56,855 --> 00:52:58,294
So all I thought was,

1177
00:52:58,295 --> 00:53:01,594
take the same elements, bash 'em all together.

1178
00:53:01,595 --> 00:53:02,674
And that's why I'm here.

1179
00:53:02,675 --> 00:53:05,791
That's why I sponsored this thing in the first place.

1180
00:53:05,792 --> 00:53:08,944
- And so that's, that's pretty much what we have to do.

1181
00:53:08,945 --> 00:53:11,792
We gotta beat his record.

1182
00:53:11,793 --> 00:53:13,564
- The guy's a fool.

1183
00:53:13,565 --> 00:53:14,794
The Snooker Man.

1184
00:53:14,795 --> 00:53:16,444
What a stupid name anyway.

1185
00:53:16,445 --> 00:53:18,094
It's so obvious, isn't it?

1186
00:53:18,095 --> 00:53:19,714
Snooker Man?

1187
00:53:19,715 --> 00:53:22,174
What we playing? Snooker?

1188
00:53:22,175 --> 00:53:24,004
We plan business.

1189
00:53:24,005 --> 00:53:25,926
That's all I'm saying.

1190
00:53:25,927 --> 00:53:27,604
- Okay, Mr. Ambassador.

1191
00:53:27,605 --> 00:53:31,054
So what I'm gonna do is I'm going to, I'm gonna,

1192
00:53:31,055 --> 00:53:35,435
I'm gonna smash, smash the title away from you.

1193
00:53:35,436 --> 00:53:37,024
Like you, you, you're not gonna know

1194
00:53:37,025 --> 00:53:38,704
what's gonna hit you, yeah?

1195
00:53:38,705 --> 00:53:40,474
It's gonna be like,

1196
00:53:40,475 --> 00:53:41,914
a bit humiliating.

1197
00:53:41,915 --> 00:53:44,284
Without me literally pulling your trousers down,

1198
00:53:44,285 --> 00:53:46,684
that's pretty much what's gonna happen.

1199
00:53:46,685 --> 00:53:51,574
- If I get that 147 break, right, I'll get two spots.

1200
00:53:51,575 --> 00:53:53,524
I won't have to play anyone after this.

1201
00:53:53,525 --> 00:53:56,224
I'll be straight to the semifinals.

1202
00:53:56,225 --> 00:54:00,244
So all you're saying is you are not gonna get me.

1203
00:54:00,245 --> 00:54:01,178
I'm untouchable.

1204
00:54:02,105 --> 00:54:04,684
- [Narrator] The first ever record of the 147 break

1205
00:54:04,685 --> 00:54:07,804
was set by Colin in 2017,

1206
00:54:07,805 --> 00:54:10,294
which was smashed by Twitch streamer Queenie

1207
00:54:10,295 --> 00:54:11,584
two years later,

1208
00:54:11,585 --> 00:54:14,044
breaking the sub-five minute barrier.

1209
00:54:14,045 --> 00:54:16,654
With less than a month before midnight of the finals,

1210
00:54:16,655 --> 00:54:19,354
Ambassador set a time of 4:42.

1211
00:54:19,355 --> 00:54:20,187
- [Johnny] Yes!

1212
00:54:20,188 --> 00:54:21,304
- [Narrator] New to the speed running scene,

1213
00:54:21,305 --> 00:54:24,304
Snooker Man stole the record the following week.

1214
00:54:24,305 --> 00:54:27,904
- Wolfgang, you are going down Prick Face.

1215
00:54:27,905 --> 00:54:29,644
You and the Ambassador.

1216
00:54:29,645 --> 00:54:31,564
- [Narrator] Setting up a back and forward rivalry

1217
00:54:31,565 --> 00:54:32,498
between the two.

1218
00:54:33,849 --> 00:54:34,681
(moody electronic music)

1219
00:54:34,682 --> 00:54:35,937
(Johnny cheers)

1220
00:54:35,938 --> 00:54:39,355
(moody electronic music)

1221
00:54:42,903 --> 00:54:44,957
- Yes!

1222
00:54:44,958 --> 00:54:48,375
(moody electronic music)

1223
00:54:55,497 --> 00:54:57,334
(Johnny roars)

1224
00:54:57,335 --> 00:54:59,494
- [Narrator] With only hours to go before the deadline,

1225
00:54:59,495 --> 00:55:01,268
Snooker Man got this run.

1226
00:55:02,122 --> 00:55:05,539
(moody electronic music)

1227
00:55:10,565 --> 00:55:12,184
- This has all been worth it.

1228
00:55:12,185 --> 00:55:16,534
So please, please join me for the finals.

1229
00:55:16,535 --> 00:55:18,938
This will be televised and I'm gonna win it.

1230
00:55:20,471 --> 00:55:21,371
I'll see you then.

1231
00:55:23,225 --> 00:55:24,484
- Hello, my fans.

1232
00:55:24,485 --> 00:55:27,214
Ah, so, what you don't realize now is,

1233
00:55:27,215 --> 00:55:29,144
I've had the record for a while, okay?

1234
00:55:29,145 --> 00:55:30,844
Okay, I've been sitting on this.

1235
00:55:30,845 --> 00:55:32,674
- [Narrator] With minutes to go before midnight,

1236
00:55:32,675 --> 00:55:36,664
Ambassador uploaded a video
he recorded over a week earlier.

1237
00:55:36,665 --> 00:55:38,854
- As you can see, I did it in the timescale

1238
00:55:38,855 --> 00:55:40,444
and yeah, I've been holding the footage,

1239
00:55:40,445 --> 00:55:42,004
waiting out, Mr Snooker Man,

1240
00:55:42,005 --> 00:55:43,834
so you won't have time to get yours in.

1241
00:55:43,835 --> 00:55:46,594
That puts me in the spot
where I want to be in the finals

1242
00:55:46,595 --> 00:55:48,244
and you're not gonna be able to compete with me.

1243
00:55:48,245 --> 00:55:51,814
That makes me the snooker man, Snooker Man.

1244
00:55:51,815 --> 00:55:53,314
- [Sportscaster] Welcome to the grand finals

1245
00:55:53,315 --> 00:55:57,994
of the World Championships
of Miniature Snooker 2022.

1246
00:55:57,995 --> 00:56:00,274
We're here, guys!

1247
00:56:00,275 --> 00:56:04,144
A nonstop thrill ride of ball potting action

1248
00:56:04,145 --> 00:56:06,364
for you all to enjoy.

1249
00:56:06,365 --> 00:56:09,604
A huge controversy has held
its cloud over the competition

1250
00:56:09,605 --> 00:56:10,564
this year,

1251
00:56:10,565 --> 00:56:12,964
as the Ambassador has not only paid his way

1252
00:56:12,965 --> 00:56:16,294
into the competition through
sponsoring the tournament,

1253
00:56:16,295 --> 00:56:20,284
but he has also had the 147 break record,

1254
00:56:20,285 --> 00:56:24,244
taking up two spots for himself in the finals.

1255
00:56:24,245 --> 00:56:26,404
Effectively, he now has a buy-in

1256
00:56:26,405 --> 00:56:28,114
past the quarterfinal stage

1257
00:56:28,115 --> 00:56:30,454
as he can't play against himself.

1258
00:56:30,455 --> 00:56:33,788
All he has to do is show up to take the W.

1259
00:56:35,015 --> 00:56:37,894
Here he comes. (audience boos)

1260
00:56:37,895 --> 00:56:40,748
This is completely unprecedented, folks.

1261
00:56:42,241 --> 00:56:44,908
(audience boos)

1262
00:56:53,429 --> 00:56:55,511
- [Spectator] Get out of here!

1263
00:56:55,512 --> 00:56:57,454
- [Sportscaster] The crowd here at the snooker zone

1264
00:56:57,455 --> 00:57:00,441
are letting him know what they really think of him.

1265
00:57:00,442 --> 00:57:03,861
(audience boos)

1266
00:57:03,862 --> 00:57:05,118
- What you going on about?

1267
00:57:05,119 --> 00:57:06,724
What you having a go at me for, yeah?

1268
00:57:06,725 --> 00:57:09,664
You know I've got the 147 locked down.

1269
00:57:09,665 --> 00:57:10,608
Yeah?

1270
00:57:10,609 --> 00:57:13,669
(Ambassador makes crying baby noises)

1271
00:57:13,670 --> 00:57:15,094
I don't even need to be here today.

1272
00:57:15,095 --> 00:57:16,075
Listen to me.

1273
00:57:16,076 --> 00:57:17,674
I don't need to be here today,

1274
00:57:17,675 --> 00:57:20,198
but you know I'm sailing through this. Sailing!

1275
00:57:21,853 --> 00:57:24,520
(audience boos)

1276
00:57:25,910 --> 00:57:27,154
- [Sportscaster] What's Snooker man doing here?

1277
00:57:27,155 --> 00:57:29,044
He's not meant to be here!

1278
00:57:29,045 --> 00:57:32,224
Wait, what's that I'm hearing in my earpiece?

1279
00:57:32,225 --> 00:57:33,964
Snooker Man's what?

1280
00:57:33,965 --> 00:57:36,964
Ladies and gentlemen, last minute rule change.

1281
00:57:36,965 --> 00:57:38,644
I'm getting told by the organizers

1282
00:57:38,645 --> 00:57:41,614
that they've decided to let Snooker Man compete

1283
00:57:41,615 --> 00:57:46,615
as the second placed 147 break record holder.

1284
00:57:46,775 --> 00:57:48,124
It's on, guys.

1285
00:57:48,125 --> 00:57:49,984
We have a match on our hands.

1286
00:57:49,985 --> 00:57:53,104
Let's quickly check on the
tournament quarterfinal brackets.

1287
00:57:53,105 --> 00:57:56,104
Wolfgang, the world's number one ranked player,

1288
00:57:56,105 --> 00:57:58,354
faces off against Heatseeker.

1289
00:57:58,355 --> 00:58:01,534
Fishfingers has work cut out against Colin.

1290
00:58:01,535 --> 00:58:04,054
Bigboy versus Queenie looks tasty.

1291
00:58:04,055 --> 00:58:08,134
But let's head straight to
Ambassador versus Snooker Man.

1292
00:58:08,135 --> 00:58:10,474
Sponsor versus wild card.

1293
00:58:10,475 --> 00:58:12,848
Best of three, let's go.

1294
00:58:18,843 --> 00:58:20,456
(Ambassador sniffs)

1295
00:58:20,457 --> 00:58:23,124
(crowd mutters)

1296
00:58:32,969 --> 00:58:35,969
(Ambassador sniffs)

1297
00:58:42,425 --> 00:58:44,614
Ambassador playing games with the referee

1298
00:58:44,615 --> 00:58:46,058
as we kick things off.

1299
00:58:56,645 --> 00:58:58,968
- He breaks, he gets the pot.

1300
00:58:58,969 --> 00:59:01,389
(tense music)

1301
00:59:01,390 --> 00:59:03,694
(Ambassador pots ball)

1302
00:59:03,695 --> 00:59:06,548
Racking up a nice break in the first frame.

1303
00:59:07,718 --> 00:59:10,218
(tense music)

1304
00:59:14,345 --> 00:59:16,894
I do not believe he wanted to do that.

1305
00:59:16,895 --> 00:59:18,287
Snooker Man is up.

1306
00:59:18,288 --> 00:59:20,788
(tense music)

1307
00:59:22,385 --> 00:59:24,874
Snooker Man is feeling the nerves too.

1308
00:59:24,875 --> 00:59:26,374
What a miss.

1309
00:59:26,375 --> 00:59:28,834
A very cagey start to the game.

1310
00:59:28,835 --> 00:59:29,884
Who can blame them?

1311
00:59:29,885 --> 00:59:32,194
Lots on stake here.

1312
00:59:32,195 --> 00:59:35,035
Ambassador to win the first frame.

1313
00:59:35,036 --> 00:59:36,244
(crowd boos)

1314
00:59:36,245 --> 00:59:38,318
1-0 to Ambassador.

1315
00:59:40,385 --> 00:59:44,314
Don't worry, Maggie, it's all still to play for.

1316
00:59:44,315 --> 00:59:45,844
Snooker Man to break.

1317
00:59:45,845 --> 00:59:47,175
Let's see how he does

1318
00:59:51,195 --> 00:59:52,027
(crowd boos)

1319
00:59:52,028 --> 00:59:54,478
That's a very unsporting gesture from Ambassador.

1320
00:59:56,825 --> 00:59:59,524
Seven points with that pot of the black.

1321
00:59:59,525 --> 01:00:00,694
Right back at him.

1322
01:00:00,695 --> 01:00:02,228
Let's see how he likes it.

1323
01:00:05,105 --> 01:00:05,937
Oh no.

1324
01:00:05,938 --> 01:00:07,864
He should have been more focused on his game.

1325
01:00:07,865 --> 01:00:10,294
Ambassador looking for the double on the black

1326
01:00:10,295 --> 01:00:12,034
to take the second frame.

1327
01:00:12,035 --> 01:00:15,175
Whoa, he's left an easy pot on for Snooker Man.

1328
01:00:15,176 --> 01:00:16,297
(tense music)

1329
01:00:16,298 --> 01:00:17,207
(Johnny pots ball)

1330
01:00:17,208 --> 01:00:20,224
1-1, final frame. (crowd claps)

1331
01:00:20,225 --> 01:00:24,214
Whoever wins this frame
passes through to the semifinals.

1332
01:00:24,215 --> 01:00:26,401
He can get his own chalk this time.

1333
01:00:26,402 --> 01:00:28,902
(tense music)

1334
01:00:32,119 --> 01:00:33,685
(Ambassador drops chalk)

1335
01:00:33,686 --> 01:00:34,518
(Ambassador pots ball)

1336
01:00:34,519 --> 01:00:35,360
He's clearing up.

1337
01:00:35,361 --> 01:00:38,309
(tense music)

1338
01:00:38,310 --> 01:00:39,244
(Ambassador pots ball)

1339
01:00:39,245 --> 01:00:40,960
What's Ambassador trying here?

1340
01:00:40,961 --> 01:00:41,793
(audience jeers)

1341
01:00:41,794 --> 01:00:44,408
No time for trick shots in a game this important.

1342
01:00:45,335 --> 01:00:47,344
Snooker Man's back on the table.

1343
01:00:47,345 --> 01:00:48,745
Let's see what he's made of.

1344
01:00:52,084 --> 01:00:52,916
Nice!

1345
01:00:52,917 --> 01:00:55,667
(audience claps)

1346
01:01:00,215 --> 01:01:01,444
Boom!

1347
01:01:01,445 --> 01:01:03,424
Snooker Man wins the match!

1348
01:01:03,425 --> 01:01:04,954
Smashed it!

1349
01:01:04,955 --> 01:01:07,774
He's punched his ticket into the next round.

1350
01:01:07,775 --> 01:01:10,748
He's becoming a real fan favorite with the crowd.

1351
01:01:12,183 --> 01:01:13,015
(uplifting music)

1352
01:01:13,016 --> 01:01:16,107
We didn't even expect to see a match here.

1353
01:01:16,108 --> 01:01:17,367
♪ The Snooker Man ♪

1354
01:01:17,368 --> 01:01:18,724
- Thanks. - What a turn up

1355
01:01:18,725 --> 01:01:19,774
for the books.

1356
01:01:19,775 --> 01:01:20,720
You couldn't write it.

1357
01:01:20,721 --> 01:01:22,697
♪ The Snooker Man ♪

1358
01:01:22,698 --> 01:01:26,236
♪ The Snooker Man ♪

1359
01:01:26,237 --> 01:01:29,070
♪ The Snooker Man ♪

1360
01:01:35,495 --> 01:01:36,664
- I smashed it.

1361
01:01:36,665 --> 01:01:37,497
I smashed it.

1362
01:01:37,498 --> 01:01:40,804
You saw the way the game flowed, you know what I mean?

1363
01:01:40,805 --> 01:01:44,224
He, his true colors came out the way,

1364
01:01:44,225 --> 01:01:46,474
the way he got up and stormed out.

1365
01:01:46,475 --> 01:01:49,744
That is the true Ambassador.

1366
01:01:49,745 --> 01:01:50,973
He's, he's an idiot.

1367
01:01:50,974 --> 01:01:53,854
He's, he, he's gone. He's gone.

1368
01:01:53,855 --> 01:01:56,494
- [Sportscaster] Let's look at the story so far, guys.

1369
01:01:56,495 --> 01:01:59,074
Wolfgang's steamrolled past Heatseeker

1370
01:01:59,075 --> 01:02:01,864
and faces Colin in the semi-final.

1371
01:02:01,865 --> 01:02:03,874
And Snooker Man meets Queenie,

1372
01:02:03,875 --> 01:02:06,274
a hot favorite in this tournament.

1373
01:02:06,275 --> 01:02:09,094
Will we see the rivalry between Snooker Man

1374
01:02:09,095 --> 01:02:11,674
and Wolfgang end in the final?

1375
01:02:11,675 --> 01:02:12,848
I can't wait.

1376
01:02:13,805 --> 01:02:16,774
- My name's Queenie and I am the champion

1377
01:02:16,775 --> 01:02:18,175
of Hong Kong of Mini Snooker

1378
01:02:19,175 --> 01:02:21,094
Picked up my first cue when I was three years old,

1379
01:02:21,095 --> 01:02:22,714
playing regular snooker,

1380
01:02:22,715 --> 01:02:25,624
but I really, really fell in love with mini snooker.

1381
01:02:25,625 --> 01:02:29,925
I just, there's a skill involved, a miniature snooker

1382
01:02:31,051 --> 01:02:33,398
'cause of the space or the lack of space.

1383
01:02:34,325 --> 01:02:37,474
And since then I just play, I
play snooker every single day.

1384
01:02:37,475 --> 01:02:39,788
It's my life, I live for it.

1385
01:02:40,715 --> 01:02:41,794
And I've been training

1386
01:02:41,795 --> 01:02:44,014
for this ever since I was literally three years old.

1387
01:02:44,015 --> 01:02:47,839
So yes, of course I'm going to win today,

1388
01:02:47,840 --> 01:02:49,570
but I, I live for it,

1389
01:02:49,571 --> 01:02:50,403
- Man.

1390
01:02:50,404 --> 01:02:52,370
I, I'm just, I'm buzzing, I'm buzzing.

1391
01:02:52,371 --> 01:02:54,634
I can't stop buzzing, I'm just so happy.

1392
01:02:54,635 --> 01:02:57,304
Like, oh, like, I, I can't say enough.

1393
01:02:57,305 --> 01:03:00,394
But all the work, all this,

1394
01:03:00,395 --> 01:03:02,314
mate, it was draining.

1395
01:03:02,315 --> 01:03:05,794
Draining, you know, I couldn't sleep a lot of the nights

1396
01:03:05,795 --> 01:03:06,784
and I'm here to win.

1397
01:03:06,785 --> 01:03:08,914
I'm not messing about, I'm here to take it.

1398
01:03:08,915 --> 01:03:10,684
I'm here to take the final.

1399
01:03:10,685 --> 01:03:12,964
So, just two more steps.

1400
01:03:12,965 --> 01:03:14,934
I've just got, I've got the semis next.

1401
01:03:14,935 --> 01:03:17,854
- So I, I'm aware that there's a new boy in town

1402
01:03:17,855 --> 01:03:21,518
called Snooker Man and,

1403
01:03:23,615 --> 01:03:25,654
no one's heard about him in Hong Kong before.

1404
01:03:25,655 --> 01:03:28,674
So I, I don't really know what he's doing here.

1405
01:03:28,675 --> 01:03:31,325
If he's only been playing for, I, I don't know, like,

1406
01:03:32,525 --> 01:03:34,714
how long has he been here, for like two months?

1407
01:03:34,715 --> 01:03:37,088
And I've been here for at least five years.

1408
01:03:38,225 --> 01:03:41,074
I mean, I guess he's good if he's here,

1409
01:03:41,075 --> 01:03:41,907
if he's coming in,

1410
01:03:41,908 --> 01:03:45,158
but you can't beat experience, man.

1411
01:03:46,318 --> 01:03:49,894
Yeah, I look forward to, to meeting him, I guess.

1412
01:03:49,895 --> 01:03:51,694
- But hey, you know, I'm all here for a friendly,

1413
01:03:51,695 --> 01:03:52,714
decent game here.

1414
01:03:52,715 --> 01:03:54,064
You know what I mean?

1415
01:03:54,065 --> 01:03:54,897
This is why we're here,

1416
01:03:54,898 --> 01:03:57,274
we're here to play some good snooker.

1417
01:03:57,275 --> 01:03:58,834
So bring it on.

1418
01:03:58,835 --> 01:03:59,824
I'm just looking forward to it.

1419
01:03:59,825 --> 01:04:00,938
May the best man win.

1420
01:04:01,955 --> 01:04:04,684
- [Sportscaster] Welcome back
sports fans to the semi-finals

1421
01:04:04,685 --> 01:04:08,494
of the World Championships of Miniature Snooker.

1422
01:04:08,495 --> 01:04:11,674
Let's see how the new fan favorite Snooker Man did

1423
01:04:11,675 --> 01:04:15,124
up against the master of the game, Queenie.

1424
01:04:15,125 --> 01:04:18,874
We have highlights from
all the action coming right up.

1425
01:04:18,875 --> 01:04:20,404
In this best of five,

1426
01:04:20,405 --> 01:04:22,684
Queenie, looking too cool for school,

1427
01:04:22,685 --> 01:04:24,368
secured the first frame,

1428
01:04:26,225 --> 01:04:30,218
but Snooker Man made his
way back, winning the next three.

1429
01:04:33,065 --> 01:04:35,074
Let's hear from the loser.

1430
01:04:35,075 --> 01:04:36,854
- Yeah, well done Snooker Man.

1431
01:04:36,855 --> 01:04:38,888
I think it was a fluke.

1432
01:04:41,717 --> 01:04:42,838
It's fine, it's fine, it's fine.

1433
01:04:44,289 --> 01:04:45,548
(chokes) Well done.

1434
01:04:47,366 --> 01:04:48,198
(bright music)

1435
01:04:48,199 --> 01:04:49,834
- [Sportscaster] Colin was also no match for Wolfgang

1436
01:04:49,835 --> 01:04:51,304
in the semifinals.

1437
01:04:51,305 --> 01:04:55,714
Wolfgang versus Snooker Man is our grand final.

1438
01:04:55,715 --> 01:04:58,654
There's something we also need to show you guys.

1439
01:04:58,655 --> 01:05:01,564
Before Wolfgang walked out for his entrance today,

1440
01:05:01,565 --> 01:05:02,621
look who came out with him.

1441
01:05:02,622 --> 01:05:03,454
(audience boos)

1442
01:05:03,455 --> 01:05:04,564
Barry Keane,

1443
01:05:04,565 --> 01:05:08,524
a once trusted business associate of Snooker Man,

1444
01:05:08,525 --> 01:05:10,654
some would say a close friend,

1445
01:05:10,655 --> 01:05:14,678
was seen walking out with
his arch rival in his win today.

1446
01:05:16,570 --> 01:05:17,402
(moody electronic music)

1447
01:05:17,403 --> 01:05:19,684
What is Barry doing managing Wolfgang?

1448
01:05:19,685 --> 01:05:22,478
What does this betrayal mean? How could he?

1449
01:05:23,899 --> 01:05:26,884
(Barry sighs)

1450
01:05:26,885 --> 01:05:27,717
- Wolfgang?

1451
01:05:27,718 --> 01:05:28,551
Well, Wolfgang is a,

1452
01:05:29,555 --> 01:05:32,104
well, you know, he's a man of the people.

1453
01:05:32,105 --> 01:05:33,874
He understands the media.

1454
01:05:33,875 --> 01:05:36,004
He knows what to say and what not to say.

1455
01:05:36,005 --> 01:05:38,408
So I'd rather go with someone like that.

1456
01:05:39,275 --> 01:05:41,944
- But me dad, I don't know what he's playing at.

1457
01:05:41,945 --> 01:05:43,114
Do you know what?

1458
01:05:43,115 --> 01:05:45,694
That slug guy's gonna get his little slug

1459
01:05:45,695 --> 01:05:47,344
knocked right off.

1460
01:05:47,345 --> 01:05:48,964
And he even dresses like a waiter.

1461
01:05:48,965 --> 01:05:50,464
Look at his waist coat!

1462
01:05:50,465 --> 01:05:51,544
I mean, jeez,

1463
01:05:51,545 --> 01:05:53,824
he looks like he should be more serving cheap plonk

1464
01:05:53,825 --> 01:05:55,898
or something in Costa Del Sol.

1465
01:05:56,975 --> 01:05:57,807
- Snooker Man.

1466
01:05:57,808 --> 01:05:59,674
I hope you're doing well.

1467
01:05:59,675 --> 01:06:01,054
Looks like Barry has decided

1468
01:06:01,055 --> 01:06:03,184
to manage a winner for a change.

1469
01:06:03,185 --> 01:06:06,064
You may call him as hell out, but he is just buying it.

1470
01:06:06,065 --> 01:06:11,065
It is now my time to tell you what I am entitled to,

1471
01:06:11,225 --> 01:06:15,248
to become the World Champion of Miniature Snooker.

1472
01:06:17,105 --> 01:06:21,244
- So Barry, Barry leaving me
to go with Mickey Mouse gang,

1473
01:06:21,245 --> 01:06:23,134
I mean, Wolfgang,

1474
01:06:23,135 --> 01:06:25,654
I think he's having a mid, bit of a midlife crisis.

1475
01:06:25,655 --> 01:06:26,914
I think he's a bit lost.

1476
01:06:26,915 --> 01:06:30,031
I think he's actually going a little bit do-lally.

1477
01:06:30,032 --> 01:06:31,297
You know?

1478
01:06:31,298 --> 01:06:34,210
- I don't really wanna say anything to Johnny Bonnar.

1479
01:06:34,211 --> 01:06:35,260
Nothing at all.

1480
01:06:35,261 --> 01:06:37,162
He's got, he, he, he, he, he, he,

1481
01:06:37,163 --> 01:06:38,641
he's nothing to do with me any more

1482
01:06:38,642 --> 01:06:40,474
and I don't want anything to do with him.

1483
01:06:40,475 --> 01:06:43,684
So, you know, Johnny, you know, good luck.

1484
01:06:43,685 --> 01:06:45,274
Well, goodbye.

1485
01:06:45,275 --> 01:06:46,107
- Hi Johnny.

1486
01:06:46,108 --> 01:06:47,069
If you're watching this,

1487
01:06:47,070 --> 01:06:50,014
(upbeat music)

1488
01:06:50,015 --> 01:06:52,528
I hope we're friends still because do you know what?

1489
01:06:53,495 --> 01:06:55,471
It's just horrible without you.

1490
01:06:55,472 --> 01:06:57,664
And just so you know,

1491
01:06:57,665 --> 01:07:00,364
whatever happens, I wanted you to win.

1492
01:07:00,365 --> 01:07:02,824
In fact, I'm just praying for you to win tonight.

1493
01:07:02,825 --> 01:07:06,664
I just, I just want you to go and smash it.

1494
01:07:06,665 --> 01:07:08,678
Whatever happens between us, I just,

1495
01:07:10,107 --> 01:07:11,226
part of me just thinks that

1496
01:07:11,227 --> 01:07:13,278
(upbeat music)

1497
01:07:13,279 --> 01:07:14,258
it's just sad.

1498
01:07:15,455 --> 01:07:17,067
Even if we've lost our friendship,

1499
01:07:17,068 --> 01:07:19,774
I hope you go and win that match, all right?

1500
01:07:19,775 --> 01:07:21,274
Smash that guy.

1501
01:07:21,275 --> 01:07:22,928
Go and smash 'em all, Johnny.

1502
01:07:24,245 --> 01:07:25,735
You're the best.

1503
01:07:25,736 --> 01:07:26,914
(upbeat music)

1504
01:07:26,915 --> 01:07:28,324
- Ladies and gentlemen.

1505
01:07:28,325 --> 01:07:31,684
The time is now.

1506
01:07:31,685 --> 01:07:35,314
Right here, right now in that room, in that hall,

1507
01:07:35,315 --> 01:07:38,464
you're gonna see me kick Wolfgang's arse.

1508
01:07:38,465 --> 01:07:42,514
- Snooker Man, I hope you're watching this.

1509
01:07:42,515 --> 01:07:44,048
Look into my eyes.

1510
01:07:45,065 --> 01:07:46,561
Look at me in the eye.

1511
01:07:46,562 --> 01:07:49,054
- Are you listening to me, Wolfgang?

1512
01:07:49,055 --> 01:07:51,698
In that hall, I'm gonna ruin you.

1513
01:07:52,655 --> 01:07:53,731
I'm gonna ruin you.

1514
01:07:53,732 --> 01:07:57,364
I'm gonna expose you for the absolute Mickey Mouse

1515
01:07:57,365 --> 01:07:58,197
that you are,

1516
01:07:58,198 --> 01:08:01,414
the absolute pussycat. you're giving it all large.

1517
01:08:01,415 --> 01:08:03,905
- I am going to kill you out there.

1518
01:08:03,906 --> 01:08:04,738
(moody rock music)

1519
01:08:04,739 --> 01:08:05,571
- It's nothing.

1520
01:08:05,572 --> 01:08:07,894
I know, I know it's all a front.

1521
01:08:07,895 --> 01:08:11,644
I know that you are just one big fat loser.

1522
01:08:11,645 --> 01:08:13,405
So get your back to Loserville.

1523
01:08:14,585 --> 01:08:16,024
- You look like Rooney O'Sullivan

1524
01:08:16,025 --> 01:08:18,664
at your crystal meth addiction.

1525
01:08:18,665 --> 01:08:20,175
- You need to switch up this snooker game

1526
01:08:20,176 --> 01:08:23,044
'cause it ain't working no more, 'cause I'm here.

1527
01:08:23,045 --> 01:08:27,304
- You have the acting ability of an amateur porn star.

1528
01:08:27,305 --> 01:08:30,814
The snooker playing ability of disabled.

1529
01:08:30,815 --> 01:08:33,004
- I'm here and I'm gonna ruin you.

1530
01:08:33,005 --> 01:08:34,868
I'm gonna punish you so bad, so bad.

1531
01:08:36,305 --> 01:08:40,744
- I am going to wipe the floor with you in the finals.

1532
01:08:40,745 --> 01:08:44,044
- Take yourself and the Mickey Mouse game.

1533
01:08:44,045 --> 01:08:45,500
Just pack up and leave.

1534
01:08:45,501 --> 01:08:46,809
Get the hell out of here.

1535
01:08:46,810 --> 01:08:48,287
- You will suffer.

1536
01:08:48,288 --> 01:08:49,940
You will suffer.

1537
01:08:49,941 --> 01:08:51,319
- Well I'll tell you what, man.

1538
01:08:51,320 --> 01:08:52,847
Get your stuff.

1539
01:08:52,848 --> 01:08:54,466
And get outta here.

1540
01:08:54,467 --> 01:08:56,614
'Cause I'm gonna, I'm gonna ruin you!

1541
01:08:56,615 --> 01:08:57,908
I'm gonna ruin you, mate!

1542
01:08:58,745 --> 01:09:00,001
- Fuck you, Snooker Man.

1543
01:09:00,002 --> 01:09:01,628
Eat shit and die.

1544
01:09:02,497 --> 01:09:03,329
(bright music)

1545
01:09:03,330 --> 01:09:04,162
- [Sportscaster] It's the moment

1546
01:09:04,163 --> 01:09:05,854
you've all been salivating for,

1547
01:09:05,855 --> 01:09:06,934
the grand final

1548
01:09:06,935 --> 01:09:09,861
of the World Championships of Miniature Snooker.

1549
01:09:09,862 --> 01:09:11,494
(bright music)

1550
01:09:11,495 --> 01:09:14,438
Winner takes all, the battle of the ages.

1551
01:09:15,275 --> 01:09:17,044
Defending champion Wolfgang

1552
01:09:17,045 --> 01:09:20,978
takes on a new upstart in this industry, Snooker Man.

1553
01:09:22,325 --> 01:09:24,184
Let's look at the tale of the tape.

1554
01:09:24,185 --> 01:09:28,504
Wolfgang far outclasses
Snooker Man in every department,

1555
01:09:28,505 --> 01:09:30,094
but I wouldn't rule him out.

1556
01:09:30,095 --> 01:09:32,464
Snooker Man has overcome every obstacle

1557
01:09:32,465 --> 01:09:34,504
Wolfgang has thrown his way.

1558
01:09:34,505 --> 01:09:37,804
Is this going to be the greatest upset of all time?

1559
01:09:37,805 --> 01:09:38,858
Let's go!

1560
01:09:40,001 --> 01:09:41,309
A somber walk in from Snooker Man.

1561
01:09:41,310 --> 01:09:44,143
(audience cheers)

1562
01:09:45,575 --> 01:09:47,284
He's taking this moment in.

1563
01:09:47,285 --> 01:09:48,859
He's come so far.

1564
01:09:48,860 --> 01:09:51,072
(moody music)

1565
01:09:51,073 --> 01:09:53,750
♪ Snooker Man ♪

1566
01:09:53,751 --> 01:09:57,232
♪ Snooker Man ♪

1567
01:09:57,233 --> 01:09:58,832
♪ Snooker Man ♪

1568
01:09:58,833 --> 01:10:01,500
(audience boos)

1569
01:10:04,081 --> 01:10:04,913
Here he comes.

1570
01:10:04,914 --> 01:10:07,932
The reigning defending champion with his manager.

1571
01:10:07,933 --> 01:10:08,765
(audience boos)

1572
01:10:08,766 --> 01:10:09,784
- [Barry] Wolfgang!

1573
01:10:09,785 --> 01:10:12,235
- [Narrator] The crowd has a very clear favorite.

1574
01:10:14,025 --> 01:10:16,692
(audience boos)

1575
01:10:19,175 --> 01:10:20,008
- Yeah?

1576
01:10:22,049 --> 01:10:23,962
He's the Wolfman!

1577
01:10:23,963 --> 01:10:25,829
Show him some respect.

1578
01:10:25,830 --> 01:10:26,430
Yeah, you.

1579
01:10:30,813 --> 01:10:32,561
- [Sportscaster] I don't know about everyone at home,

1580
01:10:32,562 --> 01:10:34,897
but the hairs on my neck are standing up.

1581
01:10:34,898 --> 01:10:37,801
(upbeat music) (audience boos)

1582
01:10:37,802 --> 01:10:41,828
The spooky, ominous mask
being brought out by Barry there.

1583
01:10:44,435 --> 01:10:46,958
Double pot from Snooker Man on the break.

1584
01:10:48,875 --> 01:10:50,198
What a miss.

1585
01:10:50,199 --> 01:10:51,154
(tense music)

1586
01:10:51,155 --> 01:10:53,018
Wolfgang takes advantage.

1587
01:10:54,300 --> 01:10:57,394
(tense music)

1588
01:10:57,395 --> 01:10:59,773
Really taking his time around the table here.

1589
01:10:59,774 --> 01:11:02,822
(dramatic music)

1590
01:11:02,823 --> 01:11:05,906
(Wolfgang pots ball)

1591
01:11:08,627 --> 01:11:11,377
(dramatic music)

1592
01:11:17,259 --> 01:11:19,926
(chalk scrapes)

1593
01:11:29,765 --> 01:11:31,568
Wolfgang lines up his shot.

1594
01:11:33,635 --> 01:11:36,175
Wolfgang takes the lead in the grand final.

1595
01:11:36,176 --> 01:11:38,063
(audience boos)

1596
01:11:38,064 --> 01:11:40,814
(dramatic music)

1597
01:11:45,935 --> 01:11:46,864
God only knows

1598
01:11:46,865 --> 01:11:49,418
what's going through the mind of Snooker Man now.

1599
01:11:51,005 --> 01:11:53,074
Can he compose himself?

1600
01:11:53,075 --> 01:11:54,784
Bang! Plunk! Boof!

1601
01:11:54,785 --> 01:11:57,034
Splash down! Bazinga!

1602
01:11:57,035 --> 01:11:58,714
Snooker Man has pulled it back

1603
01:11:58,715 --> 01:12:01,809
and Wolfgang isn't liking that one bit.

1604
01:12:01,810 --> 01:12:02,642
(audience claps) (dramatic music)

1605
01:12:02,643 --> 01:12:05,524
The contrast in reaction from the Keane family

1606
01:12:05,525 --> 01:12:08,014
tells you everything you need to know.

1607
01:12:08,015 --> 01:12:09,621
Wolfgang restores his lead.

1608
01:12:09,622 --> 01:12:10,454
(audience boos)

1609
01:12:10,455 --> 01:12:13,624
A double thumbs up from Barry to his client.

1610
01:12:13,625 --> 01:12:14,544
2-1.

1611
01:12:14,545 --> 01:12:19,545
(audience boos) (dramatic music)

1612
01:12:27,686 --> 01:12:28,518
Here we go.

1613
01:12:28,519 --> 01:12:30,776
Snooker Man matches his nemesis.

1614
01:12:30,777 --> 01:12:32,802
2-2. (audience claps)

1615
01:12:32,803 --> 01:12:34,894
(dramatic music)

1616
01:12:34,895 --> 01:12:37,384
Oh my God, guys, they're both neck and neck

1617
01:12:37,385 --> 01:12:39,154
on three apiece.

1618
01:12:39,155 --> 01:12:41,404
It's come down to the final frame.

1619
01:12:41,405 --> 01:12:42,969
My heart is in my mouth.

1620
01:12:42,970 --> 01:12:45,720
(dramatic music)

1621
01:12:46,955 --> 01:12:48,634
They think it's all over.

1622
01:12:48,635 --> 01:12:50,854
Wolfgang's on championship point.

1623
01:12:50,855 --> 01:12:52,654
He's surely won this.

1624
01:12:52,655 --> 01:12:54,638
She can't watch, nor can I.

1625
01:12:58,943 --> 01:13:00,034
(audience boos) He's taken it.

1626
01:13:00,035 --> 01:13:02,434
Wolfgang is your world champion.

1627
01:13:02,435 --> 01:13:03,458
What a tournament!

1628
01:13:05,055 --> 01:13:05,888
- Yes!

1629
01:13:07,529 --> 01:13:09,250
Yes, I've won!

1630
01:13:09,251 --> 01:13:10,084
I won!

1631
01:13:11,397 --> 01:13:12,910
(Wolfgang laughs)

1632
01:13:12,911 --> 01:13:13,743
Yes! Yes!

1633
01:13:13,744 --> 01:13:14,644
- [Sportscaster] Commiserations to Snooker Man.

1634
01:13:14,645 --> 01:13:17,366
He put up a great fight and should be proud.

1635
01:13:17,367 --> 01:13:19,566
(audience boos)

1636
01:13:19,567 --> 01:13:21,005
- Yes!

1637
01:13:21,006 --> 01:13:21,838
- [Sportscaster] Wait!

1638
01:13:21,839 --> 01:13:23,974
What is the referee taking an interest in?

1639
01:13:23,975 --> 01:13:25,474
He's seen something.

1640
01:13:25,475 --> 01:13:26,764
Yes. - There's been a foul.

1641
01:13:26,765 --> 01:13:28,144
- Wait. - Gotta check the...

1642
01:13:28,145 --> 01:13:30,214
- What do you mean? - It's not over yet.

1643
01:13:30,215 --> 01:13:33,052
The ref is calling for VAR.

1644
01:13:33,053 --> 01:13:33,885
(audience claps)

1645
01:13:33,886 --> 01:13:36,874
The video assistant referee has pulled this up.

1646
01:13:36,875 --> 01:13:38,884
He double tapped the white!

1647
01:13:38,885 --> 01:13:40,294
That's a foul.

1648
01:13:40,295 --> 01:13:42,292
Snooker Man has a chance to win.

1649
01:13:42,293 --> 01:13:45,184
(audience cheers) (Johnny laughs)

1650
01:13:45,185 --> 01:13:46,295
- [Johnny] Yes! Yes!

1651
01:13:49,884 --> 01:13:52,717
(audience shouts)

1652
01:13:54,522 --> 01:13:55,454
- [Sportscaster] The black will be re-spotted.

1653
01:13:55,455 --> 01:13:58,534
If he can pot this, he's won.

1654
01:13:58,535 --> 01:14:00,862
This is the biggest moment of his life.

1655
01:14:00,863 --> 01:14:01,695
(tense music)

1656
01:14:01,696 --> 01:14:04,084
Do or die Snooker Man, you can do it.

1657
01:14:04,085 --> 01:14:05,532
We all believe in you.

1658
01:14:05,533 --> 01:14:07,883
(heart thumps)

1659
01:14:07,884 --> 01:14:10,335
(audience cheers) Yes, he's done it!

1660
01:14:10,336 --> 01:14:11,494
Well done, champ!

1661
01:14:11,495 --> 01:14:12,994
You deserve it.

1662
01:14:12,995 --> 01:14:15,364
Why is Wolfgang harassing the referee?

1663
01:14:15,365 --> 01:14:17,564
He lost fair and square.

1664
01:14:17,565 --> 01:14:20,637
What chaos!

1665
01:14:20,638 --> 01:14:22,701
And now he's grabbing his manager.

1666
01:14:22,702 --> 01:14:23,534
- Do something.

1667
01:14:23,535 --> 01:14:25,235
You're my bloody manager!

1668
01:14:25,236 --> 01:14:26,515
Do something!

1669
01:14:26,516 --> 01:14:27,349
- Hey!

1670
01:14:28,317 --> 01:14:29,149
Go.

1671
01:14:29,150 --> 01:14:31,817
(audience boos)

1672
01:14:32,843 --> 01:14:35,052
(punch thuds)

1673
01:14:35,053 --> 01:14:36,869
(audience claps)

1674
01:14:36,870 --> 01:14:38,451
- [Referee] You okay?

1675
01:14:38,452 --> 01:14:40,504
- [Sportscaster] Pow! A punch to the face!

1676
01:14:40,505 --> 01:14:42,216
He really deserved that.

1677
01:14:42,217 --> 01:14:44,967
(audience claps)

1678
01:14:49,025 --> 01:14:49,912
(uplifting music)

1679
01:14:49,913 --> 01:14:52,913
And this love story comes to an end.

1680
01:14:54,153 --> 01:14:57,512
I think Snooker Man needs
to work on his kissing action.

1681
01:14:57,513 --> 01:15:00,763
They look like a couple of wet kippers.

1682
01:15:02,473 --> 01:15:05,306
(uplifting music)

1683
01:15:08,250 --> 01:15:11,000
(audience claps)

1684
01:15:15,080 --> 01:15:17,679
As the trophy gets presented to the champ,

1685
01:15:17,680 --> 01:15:18,512
- Thanks. - I want to thank you all

1686
01:15:18,513 --> 01:15:21,394
for being a part of this broadcast.

1687
01:15:21,395 --> 01:15:22,228
- Yes!

1688
01:15:24,042 --> 01:15:26,344
- [Sportscaster] I hope you all join us again next year.

1689
01:15:26,345 --> 01:15:27,994
Have a great evening, all.

1690
01:15:27,995 --> 01:15:29,841
Well done, Snooker Man.

1691
01:15:29,842 --> 01:15:32,592
(audience claps)

1692
01:15:35,165 --> 01:15:37,748
(upbeat music)

1693
01:15:44,455 --> 01:15:48,386
♪ I've got a dream to be a millionaire ♪

1694
01:15:48,387 --> 01:15:52,650
♪ Before I wake up in the morning with a horse's head ♪

1695
01:15:52,651 --> 01:15:54,890
♪ Hey Del, let's get out. ♪

1696
01:15:54,891 --> 01:15:56,605
♪ I'm sick and tired ♪

1697
01:15:56,606 --> 01:16:01,343
♪ Of sitting in this three
wheeled yellow van around town ♪

1698
01:16:01,344 --> 01:16:03,193
♪ Here I am in a flat with my granddad ♪

1699
01:16:03,194 --> 01:16:04,433
♪ Applied for my own job ♪

1700
01:16:04,434 --> 01:16:05,266
♪ After reading Del's ad ♪

1701
01:16:05,267 --> 01:16:07,591
♪ I'm no plonker, I'm no git ♪

1702
01:16:07,592 --> 01:16:09,751
♪ A millionaire, yeah, I predict ♪

1703
01:16:09,752 --> 01:16:11,893
♪ Hey Cassandra, I'm in love ♪

1704
01:16:11,894 --> 01:16:14,132
♪ I really didn't rub my name on my coat ♪

1705
01:16:14,133 --> 01:16:16,131
♪ I promise you I'm not 14 ♪

1706
01:16:16,132 --> 01:16:17,453
♪ Hey, please don't laugh ♪

1707
01:16:17,454 --> 01:16:18,903
♪ Don't be mean ♪

1708
01:16:18,904 --> 01:16:22,867
♪ I just wanna be a Baegman Janja ♪

1709
01:16:22,868 --> 01:16:27,238
♪ Time for me to get myself a brand new car ♪

1710
01:16:27,239 --> 01:16:31,597
♪ I just don't wanna be a Baegman Janja ♪

1711
01:16:31,598 --> 01:16:36,515
♪ Time for me to make another piece of art ♪

1712
01:16:37,688 --> 01:16:39,531
(upbeat music)

1713
01:16:39,532 --> 01:16:40,132
♪ Art ♪

1714
01:16:45,340 --> 01:16:49,290
♪ I found a watch missing for 300 years ♪

1715
01:16:49,291 --> 01:16:52,327
♪ A watch that tells you where you are ♪

1716
01:16:52,328 --> 01:16:53,807
♪ Anywhere in the world ♪

1717
01:16:53,808 --> 01:16:56,029
♪ We'll get it auctioned ♪

1718
01:16:56,030 --> 01:16:56,862
♪ Who knows? ♪

1719
01:16:56,863 --> 01:17:01,863
♪ Maybe we can sell it for 10, 15, 20 grand ♪

1720
01:17:02,229 --> 01:17:06,560
♪ I just wanna be a Baegman Janja ♪

1721
01:17:06,561 --> 01:17:10,903
♪ Time for me to get Del Boy a brand new car ♪

1722
01:17:10,904 --> 01:17:15,655
♪ I just wanna be a Baegman Janja ♪

1723
01:17:15,656 --> 01:17:20,656
♪ Time for me to make another cornflakes art ♪

1724
01:17:21,317 --> 01:17:22,911
(upbeat music)

1725
01:17:22,912 --> 01:17:24,706
♪ Art ♪

1726
01:17:24,707 --> 01:17:27,290
(upbeat music)

1727
01:17:40,552 --> 01:17:43,385
(laid back music)

1728
01:17:46,083 --> 01:17:51,083
♪ Let me introduce you to a man ♪

1729
01:17:52,790 --> 01:17:57,790
♪ You've probably heard his name ♪

1730
01:17:59,531 --> 01:18:04,531
♪ World champion, the very best ♪

1731
01:18:06,250 --> 01:18:11,250
♪ His opponent should be scared ♪

1732
01:18:12,832 --> 01:18:15,271
♪ The ladies want him ♪

1733
01:18:15,272 --> 01:18:18,242
♪ The gentlemen want to be him ♪

1734
01:18:18,243 --> 01:18:21,919
♪ He's the Snooker Man, the game has begun ♪

1735
01:18:21,920 --> 01:18:24,767
♪ One winner and it will be him ♪

1736
01:18:24,768 --> 01:18:28,610
♪ He's the Snooker Man and nobody can ♪

1737
01:18:28,611 --> 01:18:32,391
♪ Destroy the empire he's built ♪

1738
01:18:32,392 --> 01:18:35,010
♪ The Snooker Man ♪

1739
01:18:35,011 --> 01:18:38,511
♪ The Snooker Man ♪

1740
01:18:38,512 --> 01:18:41,820
♪ The Snooker Man ♪

1741
01:18:41,821 --> 01:18:44,654
♪ The Snooker Man ♪

1742
01:18:52,901 --> 01:18:57,901
♪ Great player, and a greater lover ♪

1743
01:18:59,421 --> 01:19:04,421
♪ There is nothing he does wrong ♪

1744
01:19:06,166 --> 01:19:11,166
♪ He does it all like no other ♪

1745
01:19:12,685 --> 01:19:17,685
♪ He is taking over the world ♪

1746
01:19:19,486 --> 01:19:21,906
♪ The ladies want him ♪

1747
01:19:21,907 --> 01:19:24,813
♪ The gentlemen want to be him ♪

1748
01:19:24,814 --> 01:19:28,575
♪ He's the Snooker Man, the game has begun ♪

1749
01:19:28,576 --> 01:19:31,466
♪ One winner and it will be him ♪

1750
01:19:31,467 --> 01:19:33,357
♪ He's the Snooker Man ♪

1751
01:19:33,358 --> 01:19:35,344
♪ And nobody can ♪

1752
01:19:35,345 --> 01:19:38,520
♪ Destroy the empire he's built ♪

1753
01:19:38,521 --> 01:19:41,727
♪ The Snooker Man ♪

1754
01:19:41,728 --> 01:19:45,128
♪ The Snooker Man ♪

1755
01:19:45,129 --> 01:19:48,447
♪ The Snooker Man ♪

1756
01:19:48,448 --> 01:19:52,740
♪ The Snooker Man ♪

1757
01:19:52,741 --> 01:19:55,697
♪ You won't see his next move comin' ♪

1758
01:19:55,698 --> 01:19:59,353
♪ In the second only a black ball left ♪

1759
01:19:59,354 --> 01:20:02,057
♪ And all of his lovers keep coming ♪

1760
01:20:02,058 --> 01:20:04,925
♪ But 'cause his name they can't forget ♪

1761
01:20:04,926 --> 01:20:08,587
♪ He's the Snooker Man, the game has begun ♪

1762
01:20:08,588 --> 01:20:11,387
♪ One winner and it will be him ♪

1763
01:20:11,388 --> 01:20:15,198
♪ He's the Snooker Man and nobody can ♪

1764
01:20:15,199 --> 01:20:18,446
♪ Destroy the empire he's built ♪

1765
01:20:18,447 --> 01:20:21,777
♪ The Snooker Man ♪

1766
01:20:21,778 --> 01:20:25,107
♪ The Snooker Man ♪

1767
01:20:25,108 --> 01:20:28,497
♪ The Snooker Man ♪

1768
01:20:28,498 --> 01:20:31,331
♪ The Snooker Man ♪